


One Heart

by SkiaWolf



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Body Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Light Angst, M/M, Oblivious Sorey, Questioning, Romance, Secret Crush, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-12-17 00:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11840310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkiaWolf/pseuds/SkiaWolf
Summary: For several years, Mikleo had questioned his gender identity. He kept this hidden even from his best friend, only able to express himself to his siblings, Edna and Eizen.Once he came to terms with himself, it was Edna's idea for him to gain confidence in exploring his gender by altering his appearance completely, so that he was not recognised out of college and his home. However, when going along with this idea, the last thing he had expected was to end up being asked out by a completely oblivious Sorey.





	1. Further Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> Woo, a new chaptered fic! I don't think it'll be very long, yet will still be longer than New Beginning.
> 
> I've had this idea for a while, just as another cute thing until I get to another lengthy, angsty fic. It's also helpful for me to write this story, being as I've been questioning whether I am in fact a different gender as opposed to simply a trans boy. Hopefully it helps me on my journey, and that you enjoy it!

Violet eyes scanned from left to right, a hand holding the door of his wardrobe open. They inspected the few feminine pieces of clothing which hung on one side, a longing in his chest to pull out one of those pleated skirts and beautiful light blouse, before he sighed and took out a pair of jeans, regular T-shirt and hooded-top.

It had been in his second to last year of high school when Mikleo had started questioning his gender identity. It was a very confusing matter, one which he had never suspected would be something that he would have to deal with. Sure, whilst he was a child, he had been close to his mother, who may have passed on feminine traits to him. Yet he thought at first that this had been all it was, that the fact he had a fondness for some feminine things was simply something which lingered after his mother passed away.

But once he was in his teenage years, he started to feel different. He still had traits which were both masculine and feminine, yet the latter had never seemed more than just that. It was only until he was fifteen that he began to wonder if it went beyond simple femininity. Was he indeed a girl? He was unsure, and it was not an easy task to figure it out.

After a while, however, he began to realise that this was not the case. On some days, he could not have cared less for wearing feminine fashion, or to wear make-up. On other days, he did. Then there were times where he liked both, knowing that the best way to describe this look would be 'androgynous'. He researched this online, and came to terms with the fact that he might have been genderfluid.

Now he was 18, less confused yet still not confident enough to embrace who he was. All of this time, he hadn't told his best friend Sorey, either. He had kept it silent from everyone whilst he was questioning, and he only told his adoptive siblings about himself a short while ago, when he finally had a label which fitted him.

He wanted to tell Sorey, of course, and he was certain that he would understand. But admittedly, Mikleo was scared of opening up. It wasn't because of how Sorey might react. It was more because of himself. If Sorey had become as caring as he could be, giving Mikleo a bright smile as he showed how much he supported him, he knew that he might fall deeper.

Mikleo was in love with his best friend, so anything which would increase this love was something he was afraid of.

The two had been friends for years on end, now in their final year of A-Levels before they'd be off to university. The two had always been inseparable, their likes and dislikes similar, yet there were also differences which allowed them to have a great chemistry. If this was all simple, then surely this kind of bond would mean it could go further?

The problem was that as far as Mikleo knew, Sorey was straight. He had dated their friend Alisha not that long ago, before the two had broken up for multiple reasons. None of these reasons were because of Sorey's sexuality, so whilst he might have liked more than one gender, Mikleo was doubtful. He was certain that if he did, he would tell Mikleo, considering he spoke about _everything_ in regards to himself. That made Mikleo feel guilty about how secretive _he_ was being at this moment in time.

After letting out a sigh, he changed out of his nightwear and into the clothes he had picked up, feeling uncomfortable as soon as he looked in the mirror. It wasn't as though his outfit was incredibly masculine, though the lack of a feminine touch was getting to him a little. After moments of thinking, he settled down at a vanity table and began to dab a little concealer under his eyes. It was not enough make-up to be noticeable, yet doing this at least helped to relax him.

There was a knocking on his door as he swept the brush under his eye, in which he responded to by calling out, “Come in!”

It opened with a small creak, his sister poking her head around, blue eyes blinking as she took in what he was doing.

“Are you doing it properly?” she asked, receiving a shake of Mikleo's head in return. He put down the brush and forced a smile at her.

“Just a slight bit.”

“Are you feeling dysphoric today?”

Mikleo hummed. “A bit. It's fine though, Edna. I've accepted that I probably won't have the confidence to go to college feminine, yet.”

She sighed, walking over to him and receiving a _“Hey!”_ when she slapped him on the top of his head. “Silly Meebo. You should just go 'screw it' and wear what you want.”

“It's not that easy, you know.”

“I do know. But no one would care at all. You look pretty naturally anyway.”

“Oh, you're complimenting me?”

“I do that when I'm serious.”

Mikleo's forced smile returned, his eyes going back to the mirror for a moment as he twirled light brown strands of hair in between his fingers. “If it's any help, I'm actually thinking of dying this a lighter colour. I thought something lighter might look prettier than a regular brown.”

“Brown hair suits you, but something pale would look good,” Edna agreed. “How light?”

“I was thinking silver, maybe, or a pale blue.”

“Angelic. Nothing like you.”

“Excuse me?”

Edna smirked, before she pulled out a phone out of a pair of yellow shorts. “We should get going, soon. Are you sure you don't want to change, first?”

There was a small moment of hesitation before Mikleo nodded. “Yeah, I'm sure.”

She seemed unsatisfied with this answer, yet sighed and gestured for the door nonetheless. The two then began walking to the college ten minutes away, Mikleo's mind wandering to whether he would feel more confident if he was wearing the clothes he wanted to wear, or whether insecurity and anxiety would take over instead.

He _had_ been outside before in feminine clothes, but it was only ever to the corner shop near his home. It felt wonderful each time, allowing him to truly feel like himself, yet he knew that walking to college would be different. He would spend the whole time wondering how classmates would react, knowing he would receive a long list of questions. Whilst he knew in the back of his mind that they would only really be out of curiosity and interest, anxiety took over and gave him the belief that they would all be judgemental, despite the fact that he was very much liked and that the college was an accepting place overall.

The siblings were arriving at college before long, and as usual, Sorey was already standing outside of his and Mikleo's History class. Mikleo waved to Edna before heading over to Sorey, smiling in return at the grin he received.

“Morning, Mikleo!” he greeted.

“Good morning. You seem energetic today.”

“I slept really well … probably only because I finished my book fairly early though, and I resisted reading another.”

Mikleo shook his head with a small sigh. “Good grief. You need to watch out for yourself more, you know.”

“I _do_ look out for myself! I just – uh – get a bit distracted sometimes.”

“Of course.”

The two were soon inside the class, sitting down next to each other as they always did, other students swarming in and taking their own seats, hands reaching into bags. In this moment of distraction, with Sorey now writing down the date on a piece of paper, Mikleo took a quick opportunity to look at him, just as he always did. It was surprising no one had suspected anything of him yet, or maybe they had and just hadn't mentioned anything.

Mikleo's eyes were quick to dart away as soon as Sorey lifted his head, instead landing on their tutor, who was loading a presentation onto the projector. Even though this was important information for their exams were only a month away, Mikleo still could not stop his mind from wandering.

It was not rare for Edna, nor their brother, to encourage him to express himself how he wanted to. Yet it was not until recently that Mikleo truly started taking their words on board. Would people _really_ mind if he turned up one day looking more feminine? After all, like Edna had stated already, he did have feminine features to start with, not to mention how he sometimes wore pastel colours. Then there was how he was taking an Art & Design A-Level, where his work certainly had a more feminine touch. Perhaps it really wouldn't be a shock if one day, he turned up to college completely expressing this side to him.

Words of the teacher still falling on deaf ears, Mikleo felt his heart grow a little warm at the thought of Sorey being excited over Mikleo dressing differently on certain days, words of encouragement constantly being given to him. A faint blush tinted his cheeks from this thought. Maybe it would all be worth it just for this.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, Mikleo?”

The words spoken towards the end of their lesson startled him, visibly jumping slightly as he turned around to look at Sorey.

“Yeah?”

“You've barely written anything down today … are you feeling all right?”

When Mikleo looked down at his paper, it turned out Sorey was right. There were some brief notes from when he had actually been alert, but aside from that, there was barely anything. As though this would help the matter be forgotten, he shut the notepad immediately.

“Y-Yeah, it's nothing. I was just distracted.” Mikleo glanced over at Sorey's own much more extensive notes, letting out a sigh. “Can I copy those later?”

Sorey smiled and nodded. “Of course, you've done that for me. I can photocopy them if that's easier, though?”

“No thanks. My handwriting is ten times better than yours.”

Mikleo chuckled at the pout which appeared on Sorey's face. “Well … you're not wrong,” he said truthfully. After all, whilst Sorey's was rushed and slightly messy, Mikleo's always seemed to have an elegant, italic touch no matter how fast he wrote.

Sorey's expression then softened, watching as Mikleo began to put his things away. “You sure you're okay? You're never usually that distracted. I wanted to ask before, but everyone was quiet and such.”

Mikleo smiled at the thoughtfulness. “I'll be fine.”

“You know you can talk about anything with me, right?”

“I do, thank you.”

He really did. Maybe one of these days, he would tell Sorey everything, including how he felt.

It was another thing only a select few knew of alongside his gender identity; whilst others might have had suspicions, the only ones who knew about his feelings for Sorey were Edna, Eizen and Zaveid, Eizen's best friend. The latter had not actually been told by Mikleo, but had instead found out due to some embarrassing doodles he had drawn in his sketchbook years ago, which he had forgotten to close. It had been mortifying, not helped at all by how much Zaveid had teased him, but at the very least, it hadn't been Sorey to find them instead.

He was grateful for Sorey's supportive words, yet it was hard for them to help him with how he was rapidly feeling today. His dysphoria didn't always affect him greatly, but when it did, it was highly suffocating when he was in college. At home, he at least had the option to dress in something preferable and put on make-up. There was none of that here.

Luckily, when he was among friends, he could usually put up an act. It was easy enough to laugh along with the others over Rose's teasing of her girlfriend, Alisha, and to roll his eyes at Edna's remarks. Yet acts could not stop how you felt. Even sitting felt incredibly frustrating, unsure of how to rest his legs – one on top of the other? Normally, with both feet on the ground? It was small things at times, each one building up to the point where you hardly knew what to do with yourself.

He got up from his seat at one point, forcing a smile at the rest. “I'm just heading to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute.”

“All right!” Sorey exclaimed, his voice and smile friendly, yet there seemed to be a small amount of concern in his eyes. Mikleo tried to not look back at Edna, who clearly knew what was wrong, as he hurried out of the cafeteria. He was not sure exactly _where_ he wanted to go; he simply needed some air away from the crowds.

He leaned with his back against a wall, letting out a sigh, eyes catching himself in the reflection of a window on a classroom's door. It was so wrong for him to look like this, or at least, it was today. How he looked, how his body was, it just did not fit to how he felt.

His behaviour didn't go amiss; at the end of the day, he barely had time to say goodbye to Sorey, Alisha and Rose before Edna had grabbed onto his hand and was pulling him in the direction to their home. It was not until a minute later that she let go.

“What was that –”

“We're going home to get you sorted,” she interrupted, letting out a sigh. “Honestly, you should've at least put on something slightly more feminine this morning. Why force yourself to dress in a way that will make you uncomfortable?”

“I just … it's easier this way. There's no questions.”

Edna sighed. “I know it's hard, and that's why you're getting changed once we get home.”

He did not say anything. When Edna spoke in this way, it was clear that she would be far too stubborn to have her mind changed, not to mention that he did not want to say no anyway. A sudden relief filled in his chest, and apparently this showed on his face, for Edna smiled at him for a moment.

Once they got home, Edna was immediately shifting through his wardrobe, sighing to herself.

“Honestly, there's barely anything in here.”

“That's because I've only ever gotten given things from you and Eizen,” he said quietly, soon having a white dress thrown at him, hitting him in the face. “ _Hey!”_

“Put that on. Do you want different pronouns for today, by the way?”

He shook his head. “I never mind them,” he said, pulling off his T-shirt whilst Edna began to shift through the few make-up products he had. He walked over once he was dressed, and Edna was immediately pushing him down into the chair, grabbing a small pot of eye shadow.

“Honestly, you barely have _anything,”_ she said as she dusted it on his eyelids once his eyes were closed.

“Well, again, I only have what you and Eizen have bought me. Which I'm thankful for, by the way.”

“No need.” She looked at his face for a moment, feeling a rush of warmth when she saw he was smiling. “Is this relaxing?”

He hummed, soon yelping, however, when she poked him with a grey eye-liner. He huffed, yet still opened his eyes and looked up so she could reach his waterline.

“I can do this myself, you know,” he said once she had drawn her lines.

Edna huffed. “I'm just trying to be nice,” she muttered.

“Yeah, it's really weird.”

She rolled her eyes before she began applying gloss to his lips. “You know, this has got me thinking,” she said as she applied it. “You really could do with more stuff.”

“What's the point?” Mikleo asked once she finished, continuing after pressing his lips together. “It's not like I go out much like this.”

“But if you had _more_ stuff like this, wouldn't you feel more inclined to go out feminine?”

Mikleo shrugged. “I don't know, maybe.”

“I could even get Lailah to help us, you haven't met her yet.”

“I just … I fear going out and doing this kind of thing,” he admitted, eyes glancing down at the white material resting on his thighs. “I mean, what if someone recognised me and reacted badly to me dressing like this?”

“I doubt they would. Everyone who knows you is friendly.”

“Just because they seem that way, it doesn't mean they'd be willing to accept me.”

“That's true, I suppose.”

A silence fell. Edna, however, was soon to start looking thoughtful, Mikleo averting curious eyes to her.

“What is it?”

“If being recognisable is the problem, then why not make it so you _can't_ be recognised?”

“I don't …”

“You _do_ get it. You've just said yourself you're scared of what others think of you. So what if we went out, bought you some clothes, make-up and a wig, and then you can go out like you're a different person entirely?"

Mikleo stared at her. “Like … completely different?”

“Uh-huh. I thought about it because of drag, but it wouldn't be like that. You'd just be dressed like a girl while wanting to make sure people wouldn't see it's actually you.”

He thought about this silently for a short while. Was this really the solution to the problem he was facing? After all, it would allow him to explore this side to him, to embrace what he wanted to without people actually being able to notice it was him. It truly was a good idea.

“But how would we be able to afford this?” he asked. “I still don't have a part time job.”

“Eizen got paid a lot last month from overtime, I'm sure he'd be fine lending us some if it's to help you like this.”

He thought for a few more moments, before he nodded slowly. “All right.”

“You sure you want to do it?”

“I do. It seems like there's more to gain than lose.”

Edna smiled at him, though she soon hid it with a small cough. “Well, it's about time. I was sick of you moping.”

Mikleo laughed. “As sweet as ever.”

“Obviously. Let's go make food, then.” However, she hovered by her door with her hand held on the handle, smiling once again and not bothering to hide it this time. “We're going to make you finally be comfortable with yourself.”

She left the room after that, Mikleo quick to follow, warmth returning to his chest from his sister's kindness. Even they argued much more often than not, there were these beautiful times where they really did get along, Edna's love for him shining through. And perhaps, just perhaps, this idea of hers would finally bring him confidence.

If he was lucky, it might have even ended up with him feeling more confident about confessing his feelings to Sorey, too. He could only wish that it would allow him to get that far.

 


	2. New Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Edna and Lailah's help, Mikleo is finally able to delve into accepting his identity completely. He hopes, however, that all of this is kept away from others he knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kind words on the first chapter! I was pretty anxious over uploading this, so I'm glad that people are enjoying it.
> 
> Off we go!

Edna's idea brought excitement to Mikleo, which heightened once Lailah confirmed enthusiastically that she would be more than happy to join them. Mikleo was grateful that a woman he had never met before was this willing to help, not to mention that she was bound to have a good knowledge on what would suit him. After all, she worked in a salon, and Edna said she knew all about appearances in general, including fashion.

They arranged their plans for the upcoming Saturday, which was convenient being as Sorey and his grandfather were travelling to Lastonbell for the day, and so Mikleo would not have to lie if Sorey would have wanted to made plans with him. Mikleo could be a fairly good liar at times, but never to Sorey, or anything in regards to him. That was how Edna and Eizen had found out easily that he had feelings for him.

That morning, Edna had wanted to him to try dressing more feminine to prepare himself, but understood why he declined; after all, the plan was for him to look different, and he couldn't exactly be so with what he had available to him now. He at least settled for rather gender neutral clothes with a tank top and slim fitting jeans, which was suitable for how he felt that day, and that was satisfying enough for Edna.

There were times where she was overbearing and Eizen had to interrupt to get her to step back a little, but generally, her bluntness and bossiness were appreciated. He knew that if she was gentler, he'd likely find her a lot less persuasive. Whilst they argued and he definitely would not admit this aloud, she genuinely was a great sister to him, as was Eizen as a brother. He could not have been more grateful for that.

He and Edna, after saying goodbye to a sleepy Eizen drinking a coffee, headed out that morning with the plans to meet Lailah in the centre of Ladylake, near where the shops were. He had a fair amount of money on him, Eizen to thank for giving them extra, and apparently, Lailah had some ideas on where to take him.

“What if I end up getting strange looks, though?” he asked for what was possibly already the fifth time that morning. “I mean, it might end up being obvious that I'm browsing for myself …”

Edna let out a sigh. “Stop being silly, Meebo. One, you're with two girls, so they might just think you're helping us. Two, even if they _don't_ think that, they wouldn't care. And three, if they _do_ care, then screw it. You don't know them and they don't know you.”

Mikleo pouted. “No need to use that kind of voice with me.”

“It's the only way to get my point across.”

Mikleo couldn't deny it. “It's just nerve-wrecking, that's all,” he said, a hand on his shoulder bag gripping it a little more tightly. “I used to dress up when I was a child, but it was different then. Now I'm older …”

“I get it,” she interrupted, voice a little gentler. “I really do. But once you've gotten past your initial nerves, you're going to feel better, right? It'll be worth it.”

Mikleo nodded, a smile appearing on his face. “That's true, thank you.”

Edna simply responded with a shrug; both were never completely sure on how to react to genuine words of gratitude, considering they seemed to bicker more than they did showing positive emotion.

“Oh, there's Lailah,” she said suddenly, seeming a little relieved on the change of topic. “Lailah!”

Mikleo could only stare for a moment when his eyes landed on her. She was taller than himself and much more so than Edna, this height only seeming to be emphasised by long pale hair which reached almost to the floor, shiny and healthy despite this incredible length. She was wearing a pale red dress which tied at the waist and flowed down to her knees, teamed with a cardigan and heeled sandals which made her even taller.

Edna grumbled as she was taken into a hug by Lailah, yet still returned it regardless, having to stand on her toes whilst Lailah bent down. Once they parted, Lailah was soon smiling at Mikleo, which seemed to make him feel immediately welcomed.

“My name is Lailah,” she said. “And your name is Mikleo, isn't it?"

He nodded, holding out his hand. “It's a pleasure to meet you.”

“And you!” Lailah took his hand and shook it gently. “Now, there is a fairly cheap store around here which is still quite good quality despite the price, so we should go there, first.”

It seemed as though Lailah was automatically taking the role of a big sister, happily taking the lead whilst Mikleo and Edna followed. He knew that the latter had met Lailah through going to her salon with Alisha, Mikleo having always wanted to join but never had the confidence. He had already been told that Lailah had a rather soothing, enjoyable presence, yet it wasn't until now when he was in said presence that he could truly appreciate what Edna had meant.

A couple of minutes later, they were in the store Lailah had spoke of, now skimming through rails. She peered him up and down for a moment, a small smile on her face.

“It seems as though you like pastel colours?” she asked, eyes taking in his outfit.

“Yeah, that's right.”

“That's convenient, being as spring fashion has a lot of colours like that. Not to mention that you're small and slender, so finding clothes which fit well won't be a problem."

“Don't tell him that,” Edna said with a small smirk. “He's sensitive about his height.”

“I'm not,” he snapped. “I just get annoyed at being teased about it.”

“You're at _least_ sensitive about how much bigger Sorey is than you.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“I am _not.”_

“Oh, have you changed because you suddenly realised how much nicer it'll be to spoon with him with your size difference?”

“I-I … Well …”

Lailah looked at him fondly. “Edna told me how smitten you are with your best friend!”

He let out a cough. “Not particularly, I just …” His hand shot forward and grabbed a light purple blouse off a rail, saying hurriedly, “This is nice.”

“Oh, it is!” she agreed, holding onto one of the sleeves. “It's a little like your eyes. Sorey would adore it.”

Edna sniggered at how irritated Mikleo looked over his diversion not working. He huffed, continuing to browse through the clothes, mumbling something about how he wasn't _that_ into Sorey. Edna knew it was a complete lie, considering Mikleo had used the word 'love' seriously, yet she decided to not push it and instead focus on the job at hand, considering they had quite a bit to get through.

Due to him not having the confidence to go to the changing rooms to try on clothing, they had to resort to Edna shoving the items against him hurriedly and stating whether or not they seemed like they would fit. It took longer than Mikleo thought it would to gather items, but some time later, they were exiting with bags of skirts, a couple of dresses, shirts, blouses and shoes, as well as accessories and cheap jewellery.

“It's a good thing that there's a sale on right now,” said Mikleo as he stared at the receipt with wide eyes. “I wouldn't want Eizen to kill us.”

“Trust me, he's glad that this is happening, if anything,” Edna responded. “Both of us have been wanting to do this for a while.”

“Where shall we go next? Perhaps we should move on to make-up?” Lailah suggested, Mikleo nodding in response.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“We'll have to be a _bit_ careful now,” Edna said. “But there's a fairly cheaper brand which is still vegan, if that's something you're concerned about.”

Mikleo nodded. “That's good, we'll check it out.”

Despite his previous lack of confidence, he was able to streak colours across his skin without feeling very anxious, seeming to be caught up in the moment. Edna and Lailah exchanged a smile when Mikleo started rambling about which shades of pink were more suitable, and that perhaps white eyeliner would be better than black, before giving their opinions. It was enjoyable to finally see Mikleo in his element, not glancing around to see if anyone was noticing.

“We'll have to go a bit more expensive for foundation being as you're so pale,” Lailah said, walking over to another one of the brands, humming as her eyes inspected the display.

“Meebo is basically a ghost. We're going to need some good luck.”

Mikleo rolled his eyes. “You don't exactly have a tan yourself.”

A sudden wave of anxiety washed over Mikleo shortly after when he remembered that Alisha had a part time job here, but luckily, she was nowhere to be found, and so he doubted that she was on her shift. It was not as though he did not trust her; he simply wasn't ready to tell his other friends about himself, not to mention that he'd rather her not find out this way.

“Right, so if we're going all out on our operation 'Make Meebo the prettiest he can be', we should stick to the wig idea,” Edna said as they were once again walking outside. “But I'm not sure where we can go, considering we've basically reached our budget, and you don't exactly want something really bad quality.”

“Well, I _do_ have a solution …” Lailah said, looking a little pleased when Edna and Mikleo faced her.

“What kind of solution?” Mikleo questioned. A smile grew on Lailah's face as she gestured for the two to follow her to a bench, where she sat down and reached into a tote bag.

“I needed to practice dip dye and had a spare wig to do so. It came out well, and …” She pulled out a wig wrapped in a hair net, removing it to reveal a mass of white curls tipped with aquamarine. “Edna told me you were thinking of dying your hair light, so how is this?”

With widened eyes, Mikleo reached for a few of the strands, surprised at how soft and real it felt. “This can't be cheaply made at all,” he said. “I can't accept something like this for free.”

“Do you think that _I_ can get my hair into a wig cap to wear this?” Lailah said with amusement. “I don't mind giving this to you at all. Please, I'd love you to have it!”

Mikleo continued to hesitate, yet encouraged by her bright expression, he eventually took it into his hands with a smile. It felt even softer when he touched the full thing.

“Thank you,” he said softly, beginning to put it back in the hair net for protection. “It's beautiful.”

“It's no problem at all,” Lailah responded before getting up off the bench, stretching her arms for a moment. “That's everything now, isn't it? Shall we head to your house?”

Mikleo and Edna agreed with this idea, and during a moment in which Lailah was saying hello to a person walking by, Edna turned to him and said, “You know, I don't think that wig was for dip dye practice, considering she's great at it already. I think she did all that for you but just didn't want you to feel bad.”

A rush of affection went through him from this words, glancing over at Lailah, who was now laughing lightly at something the passerby had said. The two had never even met before today, yet Lailah was a kind enough person to give her help to this extent. Somehow, it was this thought which gave him more confidence in getting closer to embracing himself, as though the last thing he wanted was for her and Edna's efforts for him to be wasted.

 

* * *

 

 

The three of them stopped by at a café briefly on the way home, realising that they had not eaten for a while, before they reached the house eventually. They rushed upstairs, placing the bags on Mikleo's bed to shift through everything they had bought. It was then that Mikleo realised just how higher this number was compared to what he had expected them to buy.

“Right!” Lailah exclaimed as they entered the room, more excited than Mikleo would expect someone in her situation to be. “Let's shift through and find something.”

“Meebo has a nice waistline, so how about one of the things which shows that off?” Edna suggested.

“Complimenting me?” he asked teasingly, receiving a huff and no words in response. She simply pulled out a pale blue dress in frilled layers, thrusting it towards him. “There. This pinches at the waist.”

“Oh, I _love_ that one!” said Lailah.

“Right, get out then so I can put it on.”

“But we're all girls here, aren't we?”

A strange feeling of joy washed over Mikleo, despite how he never saw himself as purely a girl. Perhaps it was simply the acceptance he had off someone, and it must have showed on his face.

“Oh God, he's smiling like a fool,” Edna smirked, taking Lailah by the arm. “Come on, let's leave him be.”

They were gone instantly, leaving Mikleo staring at the dress hanging over his arms. Nerves were beginning to hit him. He wasn't sure why considering this was in the privacy of his bedroom and that he had done this all the time with his mother when she was alive, though suspected that it was because of how he had bought something like this specifically for himself, not given to him by another person.

Deciding that standing around was useless, he pulled off his sweatshirt before jeans, hesitating for a moment when he was in his underwear. Would he want to buy some of that as well? He pushed the thought to one side, however, embarrassed by it. He slipped the dress over his head instead, patting down his hair once it was on. Then he turned to the mirror in his room.

He hadn't exactly thought about what his thoughts would be when he looked at himself. Perhaps it was because he believed it wouldn't seem any different than times in the past. Yet his eyes stared, mostly in disbelief, and it was a call through the door which startled him out of his thoughts.

“ _Hurry up, Meebo!”_

“You can come in!” he called back. They entered, Lailah letting out a small cry of delight. Their stares were likely taking in exactly the same as what Mikleo was.

The colour was one which he had always known suited him, yet it seemed that touch more beautiful when it was that of something more feminine. Ruffled sleeves fell off slender shoulders, the blue calming with his pale skin. Edna was correct when saying that it would help insinuate his waist; the material pinched there, emphasising its slenderness. It flowed down his thighs to just above his knees, and somehow, this dress alone seemed like it'd be enough, even without everything else.

“What do you think?” he asked eventually, realising that nothing had been said, unless Lailah's small noise could be counted as such.

“Not bad,” Edna commented simply.

“Edna!” Lailah scolded. “It is _so_ much better than just that! Mikleo, you look wonderful.”

“At least someone appreciates it.”

“All right, all right, it suits you. I bet you could pass as a girl simply like this.”

“You can still tell it's me, though,” he said as he peered into the mirror again. “Like, really tell.”

“That's where the rest comes in!” Lailah exclaimed, rushing closer to him. “Come on, let's do this!”

He was not sure how long it took for the rest of this transformation to take, possibly because it was so enjoyable that it seemed to go by quickly; by the end of it, his eyelashes were darker and longer, yet not too much more so than usual. In fact, Lailah's skills managed to mostly alter his appearance aside from change it intensely, yet the pinker lips, gently lined eyes and pale pink eye-shadow still caused a huge difference at the same time. With the wig now placed on his head, flowing down in loose curls, he could certainly pass as someone different. He suspected that the only reason he could see it was himself was because he was accustomed to his appearance.

Lailah and Edna clearly thought the same, the latter saying, “Who are you and what have you done with my annoying brother?”

“Annoying?” Mikleo repeated, laughing.

“Considering I've only just learned how you look generally,” said Lailah as she inspected his face, smiling, “I would definitely not be able to see that you're the same person.”

Mikleo turned back to his reflection, expression growing soft. “Really?”

“Really,” Edna nodded.

“I … I'm really glad. Not because I don't want to be myself, but because … well, I might actually have the confidence to go out dressed like this, now.”

“How about tomorrow?” Lailah asked excitedly. “We could go for lunch!”

Mikleo sighed, shaking his head. “I can't, Edna and I have work to catch up on.”

“You just had to say that, didn't you?” said Edna. “We'll go next weekend, then.”

Mikleo nodded, looking at his reflection, and that was when something hit him. “What about my eyes?” he asked. “Would that make me recognisable?”

“Oh, that's a point,” said Edna, looking at them. “I've never seen someone with that eye colour. But you wear contacts, don't you? Why not just get some coloured ones in your prescription?”

“That's a good idea. Thank you.”

Edna shrugged off the gratitude before changing the topic. “I demand one thing from you.”

“What is it?”

“I want this to mean that further down the line, I definitely want you to try dressing like this _without_ trying to not look like yourself. I want you to have that confidence. All right?”

Usually, it would be a hard promise to keep. After all, the thought of bumping into someone he knew still feared him. But he felt differently when looking into that mirror. He felt as though all of the confidence in the world was his to obtain.

And so, he was able to nod and say truthfully, “I promise.”

 

* * *

 

 

Despite the happiness he felt over the Saturday's events, he still felt some sadness through the week. Whilst he wasn't exactly lying about anything, he still felt as though he was hiding a lot from Sorey, which was entirely unfair on him. Guilt truly took over when he _did_ eventually have to lie.

“Want to do something on Saturday?” Sorey had asked. “I've gotta study, but I'll probably have time around lunch if you want to go somewhere?”

Lying to Sorey was something which Mikleo usually avoided at all costs. He did his best to try and simply state as much as the truth as possible, though he also had to make the story more believable.

“I'm sorry, but I already have plans with Edna and her friend, Lailah,” he said. “I'm, uh, getting to know her more, and I'm not sure if she'd be fine with someone else tagging along.”

He felt even more guilty when Sorey smiled. “Oh, that's fine! I'll see if Sergei wants to do anything, I think Alisha and Rose are on a date on Saturday.”

Glad to hear this, Mikleo had managed to smile back, feeling a strange disappointment that he would not have Sorey with him, despite having agreed to Edna's suggestion anyway. Perhaps it was because of how much he cherished every moment with Sorey.

Regardless, the guilt and disappointment faded away, being replaced by excitement. On the Saturday, having all three fallen in love with the dress he had worn last time, they decided to go for the same look again. White pumps were now also part of the arrangement, as well as a matching small bow on the side of his head. His eyes were a medium natural blue.

“Lailah is going to melt again,” Edna said. “And you're pretty good at make-up, too.”

“I used to practice with my mother, remember? Plus I used to steal …” He stopped abruptly. “Never mind.”

“Steal what?” Edna pushed, smirking. “Eizen's make-up?”

“No – wait, Eizen has make-up?”

Edna chuckled, shaking her head. “Nah, though I think Zaveid would like it if he did. So … you stole mine before you actually asked about borrowing it?"

“… Maybe,” Mikleo mumbled.

“Knew it. Oh, and one thing before we go.”

“What is it?”

“Your voice. It's still a little too obvious.”

“Well, it's my voice. What can I do about that?”

“Just speak a little higher.”

Mikleo stared at her. “And sound stupid?”

She rolled her eyes. “I don't mean like, squeaking or something. Just _slightly_ higher. More androgynous, so you couldn't really tell what gender you were if someone wasn't looking at you.”

Mikleo paused, feeling like a fool when he said, a little higher than usual, “Like this?”

“Perfect. Let's go, princess.”

“Don't call me that.”

“What if Sorey called you that?” she asked as they passed through the hallway. “Bet you wouldn't be saying that then.”

“I – uh – no comment.”

“That says it all.”

He ignored her entirely.

On their way out, they passed by Eizen, who was off work and getting ready to leave and see Zaveid. He smiled when seeing Mikleo, giving him a nod of approval.

“You look great,” he commented. “I'm definitely glad I helped you out, now.”

“I'll pay you back as soon as I can.”

Eizen dismissed this with a wave of his hand. “Don't sweat it. You're family, so obviously I'm going to help you out.”

The comment left him smiling even whilst he and Edna had already began walking down the street. Even though he had been adopted by Edna and Eizen's parents so they were naturally truly family, he still felt anxious at times that because Edna and Eizen's blood were one of the same, Mikleo didn't fit in with them. Yet they proved time and time again that this was not the case.

Their parents were not around much these days due to travelling with work. Mikleo had always been on at least civil terms with them, but Edna and Eizen were different. Whilst they were naturally grateful for letting Mikleo into the family, once they both ended up in jobs where they often travelled, Edna most especially felt as though they did not care much about them. Perhaps this would have been different if they called more frequently, yet this wasn't the case.

Regardless, the three siblings were very close, and the fact that they cared about him so greatly was made clear through what they were doing for him now.

It was strange for him to be walking out in this fashion, yet he was surprising himself by feeling very few nerves. Perhaps it was how he looked so different. It seemed that Edna's idea was right on the mark. It allowed him to walk with confidence, no longer worried about doing so in a way which seemed 'wrong'. He was certain he had never felt so free in his life.

The two soon met Lailah out in Ladylake. She gave them both a wave, rushing over and squeezing Edna, before she surprised Mikleo by pulling him into a hug as well.

“You look lovely,” she said happily. “The contacts really suit you, as well!”

“I'm glad they had this colour in my prescription,” he said, holding a hand by his face for a moment, smiling. “Thank you.”

Lailah beamed, before she was quickly guiding the two over to a café, one which he had been to many times with his other friends. The trio settled down, each taking a menu, though Mikleo's eyes glanced nervously to the tables next to them first.

“Do I really pass?” he asked quietly. Edna rolled her eyes.

“It's not like it'd matter if you were a guy dressed in feminine clothes, but yeah, you do.”

He wasn't completely sure, likely because of how he knew his own features so well. However, this uncertainty and anxiety washed away when they placed their order to the waiter. Mikleo had been the last to order, the waiter turning around to him with a smile.

“And you, miss?”

It was three simple words which did more than Mikleo would have ever expected the man to know. As he walked away, both Lailah and Edna were smiling.

“I told you,” the latter said. “There's really nothing to worry about. No one is going to know it's you.”

Relief washing over him, he pushed back strands of long hair behind his ear as he smiled. He was becoming accustomed to the feeling of wearing a wig, too; as he had only worn one briefly in the past, he was worried that he wouldn't quite be used to it, but it felt lighter than he had anticipated.

“You know, I think others are becoming quite smitten with you,” Lailah said minutes later after sipping her drink. “I've seen a few people looking at our table.”

“Well, you two are here as well.”

“Are you saying I'm beautiful, Meebo?” Edna smirked, Mikleo rolling his eyes.

“Can I not say at least _one_ compliment without you picking up on it like that?”

“Probably not.”

Lailah giggled. “Oh, that sibling love. Really though, there's this one boy who's been looking over _right_ at you.”

“Well, he can stay in his own lane,” Mikleo said, rolling his eyes and doing his best to not look up and make eye contact with anyone. “I'm not interested.”

“He's only here for Sorey,” Edna told Lailah. “I don't think he'd care for anyone else. He's pining too much.”

“I'm not _pining.”_

“Then what about the hearts you doodled with his name?”

“Th-That was when I was _thirteen!”_

“Thirteen?” Lailah repeated, eyes widening. “You're eighteen now, aren't you?”

“Yes.”

“So you've been pining over him for a whole five years?”

“I said I'm not pining!”

“He is,” Edna corrected. “I'm trying to get him to confess.”

“Not going to happen,” Mikleo mumbled, thankful that moments later, they had food to focus on. Or at least, for _him_ to focus on; Lailah seemed to still be looking away from hers.

“That boy is looking over again.”

“I don't really care about him,” said Mikleo as he cut into a panini, putting a bite of it into his mouth. It was Edna's words which caused him to choke.

“Wait, is that _Sorey?”_

“ _Wh-What?!”_ Mikleo spluttered, looking up. “Where?”

“The boy who was looking at you,” Lailah said, subtly pointing to a high table further down the café, where two brunette boys were sitting on stools and were now facing away. Mikleo could easily tell who Sorey was from any angle, whilst he could have sworn the other figure was Sergei.

“I don't believe this,” said Mikleo, hands resting on the table, as though he was going to push himself up to his feet immediately. “He probably knows it's me.”

“Well, he didn't seem to. He was … well, smiling, and nudging the other boy. I think he finds you attractive.”

Mikleo tried, and failed, to force his heart to not flutter over that statement. “Why now?” he groaned. “Why come here _now?”_

“Hey, this is your chance to hook up with him,” Edna suggested, Mikleo casting a glare at her.

“This isn't funny! What if he comes over and sees it's me?”

“Then … good luck.”

“I'm going outside for a minute,” he said, getting to his feet. “I need to breathe.”

“Don't run away, idiot.”

“I'm not running away!” He stayed facing the two girls as he walked away. “I'm just taking a moment, that's –”

His words were cut off by his own shriek when he turned around and bumped straight into another figure, their drink spilling over him. A silence seemed to fall everywhere as they looked at the scene. In this silence, Mikleo slowly peered up, thinking he might have shrieked again when he looked at the eyes he knew better than anyone's.

“I'm – I'm so sorry!” Sorey exclaimed, hurrying over to where napkins were held, ignoring a few people now sniggering as he held them out to Mikleo. “Really, you were walking so fast that I couldn't react!”

Mikleo couldn't say a word, his frozen body barely managing to take the napkins from Sorey. Surely up close, his best friend would be able to recognise him? Wouldn't he be the one person aside from Mikleo himself to know those features well enough?

Apparently, Mikleo's identity was kept away more than he realised, for Sorey seemed to have no clue.

“I really am sorry,” he said guiltily. “I'll pay for anything if needed."

“N-No, it's fine,” Mikleo said quietly, dabbing at himself slowly and unsure of what to say, deciding that escaping was likely the best option. “Well, I should –”

“Wait, what's your name?”

Mikleo blinked. “Huh?”

“I just … well, this is really embarrassing.” Sorey laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. “But … I just think you're really cute, and I want to know your name.”

Heat was quick to rise to Mikleo's face, having never expected to be called this by the one he was in love with. “It's Mi-”

He stopped himself immediately. Panicked washed over him when he realised he had not worked out one simple thing for this persona; a name. He had been so caught up in making sure his appearance was different that he had not thought about anything like names.

Luck was on his side, however, that even in his panic, his mind was able to think over possibilities. It immediately went to the films he and Sorey had watched over the years, quick to lead him to his childhood.

“I'm Ariel,” he managed to say. “And … and yours?”

“I'm Sorey!” Sorey held out a hand. “It's a pleasure to meet you.”

Mikleo took the hand slowly. “Same with you.”

“Listen, I know that this might be really awkward for you, and you're free to just slap me or something. But would you maybe like to go grab a coffee sometime?”

Mikleo stared at him. Here, in the middle of a café with people still glancing over at them, the boy he was in love with was asking him on a date. No, not _him._ Sorey wasn't asking Mikleo. He was asking Ariel, a girl he thought he did not know. He would not be asking if Mikleo was himself.

Yet Mikleo's heart was quickly taking over his head. He imagined what a date with Sorey would be like. What was his romantic personality like during something like this? Would they hold hands? Would they even _kiss?_

He knew it was wrong to take advantage of this. His mind was screaming at him to say no, that a rejection now would be for the best, then he could confess to Sorey about his identity later.

But he didn't. Too caught up in the moment, he said, “All right.”

“Really?” Sorey said, eyes shining as he grinned. “That's great! Oh man, I thought it'd be really creepy to ask, but I've never seen anyone like you … can I have your number, then?”

For a moment, Mikleo was about to recite his own, but luckily caught himself and instead gave Eizen's.

“Great, I'll text you sometime. It's been nice meeting you, and I'm sorry again about your dress! And I'll see you at college on Monday, Edna!”

Sorey waved to both of them as he walked back over to Sergei, who gave him a pat on the back. Meanwhile, despite the previous goal of getting out of here and now wearing a damp dress, Mikleo settled down back next to Lailah and Edna, both looking baffled.

He was utterly confused himself. All he had done this for was to find confidence in himself and to, hopefully, be able to confess to Sorey with this gain of confidence. He had never expected, nor wanted, to get himself in such a mess. There was no telling what would lead from this.


	3. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite knowing the mistake in saying yes to Sorey, Mikleo still prepares himself for their upcoming date, feeling conflicted over doing so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for such lovely words again!  
> I was actually a little worried that people wouldn't like the lack of transphobia in this, what with maybe thinking that it'd be unrealistic. But with the heavy issues represented in The Journey Home, I wanted this one to be more peaceful, focusing on gender identity in a more positive way to hopefully be a sort of escape for those who are also accepting themselves.
> 
> Enjoy!

“You're an idiot. You know that, right?”

“ _Yes!”_

He had lost count of how many times Edna told him this. In the café, in the street, and now at home, where to his dismay, Eizen and Zaveid had returned to in order to play video games together. When hearing Edna's rant about how this was surely a mess Mikleo had gotten himself into, Eizen and Zaveid were now told about what happened, the latter not being surprised over the quick explanation about Mikleo's identity and not even questioning any of it.

“So you're telling me,” he said, trying to hold back a laugh, “that your best friend of over a decade didn't recognise you?”

“He didn't. Or at least, not enough to tell it was me.”

“Well honestly, I can't really tell it's you, either,” said Eizen. “But he's known you for longer, so I thought he'd realise of all people.”

“He's always been a bit oblivious to some things,” Mikleo responded. “But I never realised he was _this_ oblivious.”

Zaveid grinned from amusement. “Oblivious enough to not tell that someone in a wig and make-up is his best friend.”

“So the real problem here is what's gonna happen now,” Edna said. “You've got to tell him the truth, otherwise this could turn out real bad.”

Eizen nodded in agreement. “Better to tell him now rather than later.”

“It's … a bit difficult,” said Mikleo. “I mean, I feel like he might not trust me now.”

“Why not?” Zaveid asked.

“Because I hid this from him, and then even said yes to him asking me out for a coffee without telling him who I was. How can he trust me after that?”

“Just say to him about your identity and that you were so panicked over seeing him that you freaked out and said yes,” said Zaveid. “Simple!”

“It's not just simple,” Mikleo sighed. “It's complicated. I … well …”

“No,” Edna said bluntly. “Don't.”

“What?” Zaveid questioned.

“He's thinking about going through with this.”

“I'm – I'm not. Well …”

“Not a good idea, dude,” Eizen said.

“I don't mean to take it far. I just … I don't have a chance with him any other way. I just want to experience what it'd be like with him, even if I'm not me.”

A silence fell. The other three exchanged glances, clearly trying to figure out how to respond to this. In the silence, Mikleo sighed and settled down on one of the armchairs, leaving Edna standing on her own. His fingers fiddled with the clasps of the wig at the back of his head whilst Zaveid was finally the one to speak.

“How do you know that he won't? God's sake Mikster, the guy adores you.”

“Yes, but as anything more than just his best friend?” Mikleo took the wig off his head, not bothering to pat down his own messy hair as he rested his palm against his cheek. “I'm not saying there's no chance at all over him not being straight. But if I had a chance with him, then he wouldn't have asked damn _Ariel_ on a date. He would have asked me.”

No one spoke again for a few moments, wanting to be supportive yet unsure of how to respond to this statement. It was Eizen who spoke now, trying to be rational.

“I still don't think it's the best idea to do this.”

“Neither do I,” Mikleo admitted. “But it's the only shot I have, and I don't just want to give it up. Plus … well, I was thinking I could move on from this easier if I just had her … say it wasn't what she wanted or something.”

“So you basically want to end this through her rather than you?” Edna asked, receiving a nod in return.

“I want to be friendly about it. I just hate the thought of Sorey finding out someday.”

“But he'll know about you anyway if you end up using this wig again,” Eizen said. “After all, you want to tell him about yourself, don't you?”

“I do. I … I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, I guess.”

Zaveid chuckled, reaching over to pat Mikleo on the leg. “You've gotten yourself into something real awkward, you know.”

“Don't remind me.” He managed to crack a smile, sitting back up again. “Just this one date. I'll break it off there, say something like I don't think he was my type after all.”

“You're going to upset the poor guy,” said Edna, though Mikleo shook his head.

“I wouldn't do it if I thought that would be the case. This is Sorey, he never lets things upset him for long. Plus, he wouldn't have grown so attached already. He only asked because he thought I was cute.”

Saying these words made him cough and look down at his hands, feeling the others eyes on him. Each of them were likely grinning. He had to stop himself from doing so, too; even if Sorey didn't know who he had complimented, he had still given it. It was a compliment about Mikleo's appearance, even if it wasn't his usual one.

“All right, I can see what you mean, now,” said Edna, perching on the arm of the chair he was sitting in and jabbing at his arm. “But no further than this one date. You hear me?”

He nodded. Just one date. That was all it was going to be.

 

* * *

 

 

He was dreading Monday immensely.

On Saturday evening, he had already received a text talking about the date. It was awkward, of course, but at least it was easier than a phone call and much more so than seeing him in person. Messaging him gave him the opportunity to take his time with his answers, being able to read over them and make sure that he was saying the right thing. However, they only skimmed the surface of what Sorey wanted to say. Mikleo had to brace himself for what was to come.

Monday morning soon arrived. Mikleo was not sure if he was glad or not that Sorey didn't bring anything up at first – it certainly kept him waiting anxiously, once again not writing down the notes he desired, yet he still managed to focus enough to write more than the last time this happened.

It turned out that Sorey was simply waiting for the break in between their first and second classes, possibly so he could also say this to Alisha, Rose and Edna, as well as Dezel, who was in the process of sharing notes with Rose. The group were sitting on steps outside, appreciating the sunshine, though the thumping of Mikleo's heart stopped him from being able to enjoy this properly.

“So, as Mikleo will know, I have a date!” Sorey announced when Rose and Dezel had finished, immediately receiving smiles. Or, for Rose and Edna, this was more of a smirk.

“Glad you two are finally getting at it,” Rose commented, causing Mikleo to choke on juice he had been drinking through a straw. Sorey was laughing as he clapped Mikleo on the back.

“It's not him,” he said, Mikleo shaking his head perhaps a little too quickly.

“Awh, damn it.”

“Maybe one day,” Edna commented, still looking at Mikleo, who narrowed his eyes as a warning for her not to continue. Fortunately, she didn't, and waited for others to speak.

“She's actually a friend of Edna's,” Sorey said, beaming at Edna. “I never realised.”

“Yeah, we're _real_ close.”

“How come you've never mentioned her?”

Edna shrugged. “Too much of a pain in the neck.”

Mikleo opened his mouth to retort, yet shut it immediately. His expression seemed to go unnoticed.

“So what's her name?” Dezel asked. “You at least got that, right?”

“Oh yeah, it was Ariel.”

“Like The Little Mermaid!” Rose exclaimed. “That's adorable.”

“She's also a goddess of generosity,” said Alisha. “It's a beautiful name!”

“Who knows whether her parents thought about it properly or if it was just spontaneous,” Edna said. Her voice was monotone, but Mikleo knew that she was amused.

“So what does she look like?” Rose asked.

Sorey smiled, a dreamy kind of look in his eyes. “She's … well, I think she's one of the prettiest girls I've met. She had this long white hair with pale blue ends, blue eyes as well, and she was really pale and slender …” He laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I kind of spilt my drink on her, though.”

“Oh my God,” Rose laughed, shaking her head. “Of course you did.”

“The fact that she still said yes must prove something, then,” said Alisha, letting out a giggle.

“I'd say! She seemed pretty nervous, though … it was cute.”

“Oh, Meebo, why have you gone so red?” Edna piped up, immediately receiving a glare.

“I haven't,” he snapped, body freezing when Sorey edged closer to him.

“No, she's right, you're definitely red.” Sorey pressed the back of his hand against Mikleo's forehead. “Do you have a fever or anything?”

“N-No, it's nothing.”

“The guy's too pure to listen to this stuff, even though it's innocent,” said Dezel. “He's going to become a nun.”

“I'm not, it's just –”

“Hey,” Sorey interrupted suddenly, blinking at Mikleo. “Now I think about it, she reminded me of you.”

“O-Oh?” Mikleo stuttered, failing at keeping his cool. “Did she, now?”

“Yeah, a similar build and stuff … hey, maybe that's why I felt comfortable speaking to her!”

“Because she reminded you of another person you're close to?” said Alisha, lips stretching into a heartfelt smile. “That's so sweet.”

“Yeah, I guess it's like I'm more comfortable with Mikleo than anyone, so that helps with her, too.”

“So when's your coffee date?” asked Alisha.

“Oh, I still need to arrange something!” Sorey exclaimed, letting out a groan. “I got so distracted by talking about the date itself that I didn't actually say what day."

Rose chuckled. “You're such a dork. She's going to think that you're not going through with this after all.”

“You're right, I should message her now …”

“You shouldn't!” Mikleo blurted out, panicking for a moment when all eyes fell on him. “I-I mean, if she goes to college as well, it might seem a bit imposing doing so now. Wait until this evening.”

“Oh, you're right. Thanks for that!” Sorey then looked thoughtful, a finger tapping his knee. “I wonder if she _does_ go to college. I would have known she went here.”

“She goes to one in Marlind instead,” Edna lied smoothly. “Gets the train there and back.”

“Ah right, I see!” Sorey responded, not noticing Mikleo smiling at Edna gratefully. “But … I thought you were going to see Mikleo on Saturday? What happened with that?”

Mikleo tried not to look alarmed, thankful that Edna's expressions always stayed fairly the same – her eyes had widened for a moment, but aside from this, her face was blank.

“Oh, did you not tell him that you were ill?”

 _'Thank you, Edna,'_ Mikleo thought to himself, feeling a huge amount of relief. He knew he would not have been able to lie himself.

“I didn't want to worry him,” he said. “You know what he's like.”

“You should have told me!” Sorey exclaimed. “I would have brought you food.”

“Eizen and Zaveid were home, it's fine. I guess it's a shame I didn't get to meet – uh – Ariel, though.”

“It is … hopefully you can meet her someday.” Sorey turned to Edna, Mikleo feeling thankful that he did so. “And the other girl with you was Lailah, right? She seemed friendly!”

“She is, yeah,” said Edna. The topic soon turned away eventually, Edna typing out a message to Mikleo on her phone.

_'I'm not covering your ass for long. One date only, remember?'_

He knew that it was like that. He had just been a little worried that Edna might have spilled his secret, or at least be more sarcastic than she was. Whilst she was hinting at things slightly throughout the day, it was subtle enough for it to only be noticed by both of them. No one else seemed to have caught on.

That evening came two messages almost at once – one sent to Eizen's phone asking about a date and time, then one to Mikleo's just a minute later telling him about. Eizen had been smirking when holding out his own phone to Mikleo.

“It's a good job Zaveid isn't here, otherwise he would have tempted me into responding myself. Don't take too long, all right?”

Mikleo nodded. On this phone, he arranged the time and date with Sorey, cringing at himself when he used emojis in order to seem like he was at least a little different. On his own, he was discussing these said plans with Sorey, who definitely wasn't hiding anything.

_'I'm looking forward to seeing you and getting to know you, more!'_

_'I'm looking forward to seeing her and finding out more about her. Do you think she might like books as much as we do? I'll have to ask!'_

Guilt went through Mikleo when he realised just how excited Sorey seemed. Yet he knew that Sorey was still cheerful enough for this to not go any further, and would be able to move on very quickly. Now it was simply a matter of finding out how exactly Mikleo was going to get through this date.

 

* * *

 

 

The date had been arranged that upcoming Saturday. This meant that it had been two weeks since he had started his journey to accept himself, but that was the last thing on his mind right now. Perhaps, in a way, it was a good thing. It meant that all nerves were erased from dressing this way. But then all those nerves were simply passed on to a different reason, and that was Sorey.

One of the main reasons Mikleo was even going through with this in the first place was because he did not want Sorey to find out about him this way. But what if he would end up doing so anyway? When he thought about it, Mikleo realised that Sorey could have perhaps been too distracted by spilling his drink to truly take in Mikleo's features properly. It's not as though he would have been able to inspect them properly from the other side of the room, either. So what if Sorey was easily able to tell who Mikleo was when there were no distractions around them? What then?

It was nerve-wrecking, even frightening. He knew deep down that Sorey would accept him as easily as Zaveid had. But the thought of having to answer questions, potentially being forced to confess his feelings was what worried him the most. He could picture the rejection. Sorey might have been an understanding and caring person, but there would likely be some kind of wall after it, especially as Mikleo's feeling went beyond a simple crush and would not vanish instantly. It was why he had kept everything hidden for so long.

Edna would not let him hear the end of her teasing on Saturday morning. She sat on his bed whilst he did his make-up, leaning forward with her face resting in her hands, a hint of a smirk on her face as she watched him.

“I wouldn't use lipstick,” she said. “Unless it's fine against kisses, that is.”

“We're not going to be kissing!” Mikleo said, glaring at her in his mirror. “I mean, it's just a first date …”

“Plenty of people kiss on their first date. It's pretty normal. God, you can tell that even some kids have had more experience than you.”

“Says you.”

She shrugged. “I'm not the one who has been in love with someone for years and has _still_ never done anything about it.”

“You know why,” Mikleo said through gritted teeth, now applying a highlighter above his cheekbone. “I don't like it when you bring that up, you know.”

“Well, I don't like how I've had to deal with your pining for years. It's annoying.”

Mikleo didn't answer, simply casting her another glare before applying a light pink lipstick to his lips. He was grateful that she did not say anything more about him wearing lipstick, at the very least. Both stayed silent as he then reached for the wig on its stand, placing it over the wig cap on his head and fastening it into place. Hands reached under the curls and brushed them out, landing elegantly on his shoulders.

“This all right?” he asked as he got up. Edna nodded as her eyes scanned over a lightweight white blouse and blue pleated skirt.

“I swear with how good that wig is, you could wear a tracksuit and _still_ look like you're fine for a date.”

“I appreciate that, but I mean, how is everything?”

“You don't really look like you, if that's what you're asking.”

“'Really'?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don't bother getting all panicky over that wording. I think I'm just beginning to tell it's you a bit more because I know it's you. I doubt Mister Oblivious will notice anything.”

“Sorry. I'm just scared about him finding out it's me.”

“No need to be, idiot. Honestly, he'd probably just get excited that you're able to become so different.”

Mikleo hummed. “I guess so.”

“Stop being the physical embodiment of anxiety and just go already.”

“All right, all right! Sheesh.” He threw a bag on his shoulder, glancing at his reflection one last time before heading downstairs. Edna walked immediately over to the lounge, grumbling gratitude as she took a mug of coffee off Eizen. He looked over at Mikleo, and like last time, gave an approving nod.

“Have fun,” he said.

“I'm not going for _fun._ Just … just because I'm sorting this out.”

“Right.”

Mikleo huffed at the sarcasm, ignoring both of the siblings' smirks as he headed out of the house, immediately greeted by spring's cool breeze and warm sun. It brought a sense of relaxation that being indoors stopped. Yet it was still not enough to stop his heart from beating faster, or to completely calm the anxiety rising in his chest.

In these nerves, he almost forgot about where he was going to meet Sorey, but luck was on his side when he saw the tall figure standing outside of a shop. Not daring to call over due to the worry that he would not be able to hide his usual voice if he raised it, he waited until he got closer, Sorey soon turning and beaming at him. It was a beautiful and welcoming expression, yet it seemed a little different to what Mikleo usually received.

“Good morning!” he greeted enthusiastically. “Thanks for coming along, I really do appreciate it.”

“It's no problem at all,” said Mikleo, thanking Sorey as he opened the door open. “Worried I was going to stand you up?” he added before he could stop himself. Sorey laughed, nodding his head.

“Honestly, yeah! I thought it'd seem really weird for a guy to approach you like that, I've never done that before.”

“Yet I'm different?”

“Apparently so. Why don't you sit down while I get us coffees?”

“Actually, I don't really like coffee,” Mikleo said, letting out an awkward chuckle. “I … kind of said yes without really thinking about what you asked. Can I have an iced tea instead?”

“Oh yeah, of course!”

Mikleo smiled at him before he walked to a table with two seats and sat himself down, breathing out deeply as he did so. It seemed fine so far; Sorey still didn't seem to know it was him. Yet they had only been together for a few minutes. Mikleo was well aware that he had to be careful about what he said.

“Here you go,” Sorey said several minutes later, handing Mikleo his drink, who jumped slightly. “Oh sorry, did I startle you?”

“A bit. I was just lost in thought.”

“I'm like that a lot,” he responded as he sat down. “I kind of end up thinking about a book I like or something, and then just end up daydreaming without realising.”

 _'I know,'_ Mikleo thought to himself with an amused smile, luckily able to stop himself from saying this aloud.

“Bookworm?” he said instead, sipping on his straw.

“Oh yeah, I always have been! Both my best friend and I grew up going to the library together a lot.”

“That … sounds nice.”

“Definitely! You know, you actually do remind me of him.”

Having expected this statement to come along, Mikleo was prepared enough to not choke on his drink. “Really?” he asked instead, trying to stop nerves from reaching his voice. “How so?”

“Well, you're actually the same height, and your appearance is a little similar … like, I guess 'beautiful' would be the best way to describe both of you.” He laughed lightly, resting his cheek on his hand. “You're blushing. I take it you get embarrassed over compliments?”

Mikleo didn't need to press the back of his hand to his cheek to see if it was indeed blushing, yet he did so anyway, unsurprised to find that it was warm. “Y-Yeah, I suppose so,” he mumbled. It would have been less embarrassing if he had simply called Mikleo in this appearance beautiful, yet the fact that he would call his best friend beautiful as well, without knowing they were the same person, came as a surprise.

“But anyway, I won't go on about him.”

“It's all right if you end up talking about him,” Mikleo found himself saying. “I … I wouldn't mind hearing about your life.”

Sorey's existing smile grew. “That's reassuring, considering I have a habit of rambling sometimes, especially when I'm a bit nervous. But what about you? I'm surprised I've never seen you around here before.”

Panic surged through Mikleo for a moment, yet he was soon to think rationally. “I could say the same thing about you. But Ladylake _is_ a big city, so it's impossible to know everyone.”

“That's true. I guess I got lucky when I met you then, huh?”

Sorey watched fondly as Mikleo cleared his throat, eyes shifting to the side for a moment. “I – uh, yeah, I suppose so.”

“You really are adorable,” Sorey said, laughing as Mikleo almost dropped his coffee cup. “Sorry, sorry! You really don't take them well.”

“I guess so. I don't always know what to say.”

“Well, you can just accept it.”

Mikleo looked down at his hands holding the cup, cursing himself mentally for feeling a rush of giddiness over Sorey's words. It did not matter how much Mikleo had feelings for him. What he was saying wasn't directed at Mikleo, or at least not directly. Mikleo had to remember that he was not who Sorey thought he was.

Yet it was difficult to keep this in mind. Sorey spoke as he did with anyone, enthusiastically and cheerfully, despite how he wasn't supposed to have known Mikleo – or specifically, Ariel – for very long at all.

“Well, we've both finished our drinks,” Sorey said, tapping on his empty cup with his finger. “Want another?”

The words of Edna rang through Mikleo's mind, and he hesitated. “I don't know …”

“If you're worried about money, don't sweat it. I invited you here, after all!”

Mikleo was saying yes before he could stop himself. It wasn't as though he had told Edna that he'd say no to a second drink, just to a second date. But with how things were going, Mikleo was worried that the temptation to not say no would be far too much.

With nerves seeming to have been eased long ago, Sorey continued to chat about himself, talking about the interests that Mikleo of course knew of. He himself had to try not to emphasise just how much his interests were similar, yet it was difficult to not do so completely, making Sorey once again comment on the similarities between what he thought was two different people.

“You really are like Mikleo – my friend, I mean,” he said. “Maybe you're long-lost twins or something.”

Mikleo forced a small laugh, constantly worried that Sorey would be able to tell before long, yet he was just as in the dark as ever. Mikleo would have laughed at the extent of this obliviousness if he wasn't so anxious over it.

“I think I'll need to get heading back,” he said after their second drinks, realising he needed to put a stop to it as soon as possible. “I … I have college work to do, I'm sorry.”

“That's all right, I do myself,” Sorey responded reassuringly. Mikleo had been ready to hurry out of there with an “I'll text you”, then going through with his plan of saying that he wouldn't want to continue, yet was thankful for the time they spent together. However, Sorey did one small, rather ordinary thing, which froze Mikleo's body in place.

He lifted Mikleo's hand to his mouth to kiss it. Mikleo's best friend, the one who he had always thought he would never stand any chance with, did something which was normal, yet felt incredible at the same time. He was sure that the whole world stopped for the moment of Sorey's lips meeting his skin.

“Want to do this again?” Sorey asked.

“Sure.”

The word came out before he could even think of stopping himself. In a blur, they were arranging another day, and were soon separating after a hug. Somehow, the arms which Mikleo had felt before seemed warmer after his hand being kissed.

It wasn't until he was walking back down the street that Mikleo realised what he had just done. He had broken his promise to the others, to _himself,_ all because a simple kiss had caused him a kind of joy he had never experienced before. Continuing this was only going to make it worse, so why had he made yet another mistake?

_'Next time. I'll say to his face that I don't want to carry on with this.'_

Even if the voice he spoke to himself with in his mind _sounded_ determined, he knew deep down that there was every possibility of him not going through with this promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another note: I may not be updating this story next week, which I'm fairly anxious about as I've not missed a weekly update on a fic since about January or February, and I'm attached to schedule. I've just been severely depressed, as well as been getting dragged down by my physical health, so I don't think the chapter for next week is of good enough quality being as I can't write well at all right now. I've also had a feeling for a while that my weekly updates get taken for granted at times, and that people don't get excited for them considering its a fixed uploading schedule.
> 
> But either way, thank you for reading and your feedback so far!


	4. Confliction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikleo realises just how much of an awkward situation he is getting himself into, and soon enough, how much it is getting to him begins to show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slides in* woah, I'm updating?
> 
> Yup, I managed to finish off this chapter and write chapter 5 in a few days! I still need to find motivation for The Journey Home, but it returned to this. I'm hoping to be able to get back to weekly updates! I'm still in a rough patch, but I'm at least out of bed and everything now, so I should be able to write regularly again.
> 
> Enjoy!

Mikleo was surprised that Edna had not called Sorey and told him the truth when Mikleo confessed what happened.

She had definitely been annoyed. Angry, even. She hated when others went back on their word and Mikleo was no exception. Yet she still did not tell Sorey, as Mikleo had worried she would. She said that it was in Mikleo's hands, and that she should not get involved. He knew this was true, but also believed that deep down, Edna did not want to upset Mikleo or put him in a bad situation.

Eizen was similar to Edna, yet a little less forward about his own frustration, whilst Zaveid seemed to simply find the situation amusing. Mikleo was actually grateful for this; the times where Zaveid made jokes allowed him to feel a little more relaxed about the situation, before his anxiety would once again rise.

What made it worse was how joyful Sorey had seemed when speaking about this second date to the others. He said that he wanted them to go to an art gallery, after being told that 'Ariel' was on an art course, and felt encouraged when the others had expressed it was a good idea. Mikleo could only feign a little enthusiasm along with the rest.

It was strange, but he found himself feeling jealous of the girl he had created. He wanted to hear Sorey sound excited about _their_ plans, to seem so joyful about seeing _him_. Even though they were the same person, Mikleo worried that even after all of the years of being friends, Sorey would grow a larger like for Ariel. It was confusing and left Mikleo feeling trapped.

“You have no one to blame but yourself, you know,” Edna stated on Friday night, one day before he was going to see Sorey as himself, and two days before he would see Sorey as Ariel. “You can't shove this on Sorey when the poor guy thinks he genuinely is hooking up with someone.”

“We're not 'hooking up',” Mikleo said hurriedly, letting out a sigh. He inspected the nail he had been painting a pale blue before he glanced up at Edna. “And I know it is. I'm not blaming anyone else for it.”

“If I were you, I'd just text him and say that you don't want this second date after all. It's not too late, and you're meeting up with him tomorrow, so perfect chance to be that supportive best friend.”

Mikleo hesitated before speaking. “I know it is. I just … after he …”

“Mikleo, it was a kiss on your hand. Hardly a proposal or something.”

“It's not as though _you_ would understand,” Mikleo snapped defensively. “You've never had the heart to have feelings for someone.”

“Hey, don't turn this on me. At least me not having any feelings for people isn't putting me in such a huge mess!”

“And lucky you,” he muttered. “Because it's harder than you can imagine.”

A silence fell, Mikleo continuing to paint the rest of his nails during it. It relaxed him to do this, yet after this arguing, he would have likely felt just as relaxed if he was simply staring at the floor, a little similar to Edna in this moment.

“Look, all I'm trying to say is that you need to stop getting so caught up in this,” she continued, still speaking firmly, yet was a little quieter than previously. “I'm your sister, and his friend. I don't want either of you getting hurt.”

“I don't care about _me_ getting hurt. I'm just worried about him.”

“That's one thing I've been hoping this whole embracing yourself thing will help with.”

“What do you mean?”

“Caring about others way more than you do yourself.” She slid off his bed, making eye contact once she was stood up. “You're being selfish right now, yet not being so at the same time. One of the reasons you're going through with this is because you're worried about hurting him by saying the truth. You don't want to ruin his chances. Yet really, it's better if he knows.”

“You're not going to tell him for me, are you?”

She shook her head, now walking over to the door. “That's unfair on you. But I'm not going to stop pushing you to say something to him. He deserves to know, and nothing will come from hiding the truth. Think about it, okay?”

Without another word, she left the room. To others, it might have been a rude gesture. But Mikleo understood. She was leaving before she said anything which could upset him, and to give him time to think to himself.

He put the nail polish to one side after slipping the lid back on, staring at his nails as his mind wandered. He _could_ message Sorey tonight on Eizen's phone and simply look forward to seeing him tomorrow. Just the two of them. No Ariel, no complications. But each time he thought he had decided on doing this, something pulled him back. He just couldn't do it.

Soon, he was removing the nail polish from his nails, knowing he could not wear it tomorrow. Then he was left simply laid on his back on his bed, arms resting behind his head as his gazed was fixed on the ceiling above him. He had no right to feel so down about this.

 

* * *

 

 

At the very least, Mikleo woke up with excitement over seeing Sorey. It had been a few weeks since the two of them – at least, with Sorey knowing who Mikleo was – had spent time together outside of college. With their final exams arriving in just a matter of weeks, taking time away from studying to spend time together was welcoming.

Unsure of whether or not he felt 'right' when he peered into the mirror and saw a plain T-shirt and jeans on his figure, he quickly pushed the thought away, soon leaving the house and making his way to the park. The two had agreed on buying ice cream and going for a walk together. Mikleo could not help but imagine what this would be like if it was a date instead, yet once again tried to discard the thought. He did not want to turn up whilst clearly having something which was bothering him.

Despite how his time with Sorey as Ariel was much more romantic, nothing could stop his smile from growing wide when the two hugged as they greeted each other. Sometimes, he did not mind at all that there was nothing more between them. At least they could spend time together like this.

“It feels like it's been ages since we did this!” Sorey exclaimed as they began to walk, stretching out his arms above his head. “I'm sorry, I still feel bad that I went out with Ariel instead of you last weekend.”

“It's fine,” he said quickly. “I'm not going to stop you.”

“Still, you come first. I don't to be the kind of guy who puts a girl before his best friend.”

Mikleo smiled warmly. “Thanks for that.”

“Don't thank me! I'd sure you'd be the same if you met someone.”

Mikleo simply hummed. Considering he could not imagine falling for anyone but Sorey, he doubted that his attention would ever be elsewhere. Wondering if it was a common thing for people to only feel attraction to someone certain, he almost did not hear Sorey speaking to him again.

“And besides, no one could ever be more important than you. We've known each other forever, after all.” Sorey beamed at Mikleo, chuckling when he seemed a little taken aback. “You sometimes don't react well to someone saying this kind of thing, huh?”

“I guess not. I mean, if I expect it then sure, but not if it catches me off guard.”

“It's kind of like Ariel … Man, I wonder what it'd be like if you two met?”

Mikleo was grateful that they were already nearing the ice cream stand, for it meant that he could avoid Sorey questioning a lack of response to this. Mikleo had already thought about the possibility of Sorey asking him if he wanted to meet Ariel, and so far, he had not come to any ideas on how he would possibly answer.

He was soon pulled out of his thoughts momentarily when Sorey let out an appreciative hum over the ice cream. “This is great!” he exclaimed. “Though I'm always wondering how I prefer yours.”

“Maybe because it's fresher?” said Mikleo, taking a lick of his own. “I agree about mine being better, though.”

Sorey laughed. “You have no shame in saying that, do you?”

“None at all. Just the truth.”

“We might end up being too busy at university for you to make things often,” Sorey said. “You should make the most of the summer we have coming up.”

“You're right about that,” Mikleo responded, the thought of university suddenly washing over him. Both he and Sorey had been accepted into the same university, the final step achieving the required results. It was in Ladylake, and so not far from either of their homes. Mikleo had hardly been thinking of this recently. Not long ago, he had been wondering if he'd ever get the chance to confess to Sorey before the start of their first term there. University was a place where there were bound to be many others with their eye on Sorey.

“Hey, you all right?” Sorey asked, Mikleo blinking as he was snapped out of his thoughts. “You seem quiet all of a sudden.”

“Yeah, I just got lost in thought about it.”

“Strange, isn't it?” said Sorey as the two sat down on a bench, in sync with each other without saying a word. “That it's really not that far away?”

“Definitely is strange,” Mikleo responded, his voice a little quiet. He was already feeling jealous of the people with a more likely chance of being with Sorey than himself. The life he had created as Ariel was slowly beginning to seem much more desirable than his own. At least she had grabbed Sorey's attention in a way that Mikleo had never been able to.

 

* * *

 

 

Mikleo was not sure whether he was excited or not when he woke up the following morning.

He was definitely anxious, that was one thing. He knew this anxiety must have been great, for whilst he was applying make-up, which usually worked as a sufficient method to relax, his mind was still away from what he was doing.

And of course, he received the similar lecture to the previous ones given by Edna, about how this _had_ to be the last date, that the only option was to say the truth. Mikleo agreed completely. This was not just verbally, either; he really did know that it was the truth. He just also knew that it might be difficult to have things actually work in his favour.

At the very least, he could feel his confidence rise each time. Eyes falling on him caused some nerves, yet these soon faded once he ignored them, choosing instead to focus how he felt and smile to himself for a moment when he caught his reflection. Dressing like this out in the world felt so much more real than it did when he was indoors.

Soon, he was arriving to the local art gallery in which he was meeting Sorey, easily spotting him outside it once again. He thought his heart might have stopped at the radiant smile he received when their eyes met.

“Ariel!” he exclaimed, giving Mikleo a hug immediately, who returned it hesitantly. “I'm glad you could make it.”

“As am I. I haven't been here for a while.”

“I've come here a lot with my friends, mostly Mikleo. Shall we go?”

Mikleo nodded, watching with a little guilt as Sorey paid for both of their admissions, before they were soon walking inside. The atmosphere at least gave Mikleo a reason to relax. He always felt calm and at peace when surrounded by artwork, feeling truly at home when surrounded by strokes of paint. He knew that Sorey was the same; whilst he was more passionate about literature and Mikleo's own interest had heightened due to Eizen, Sorey's romantic traits seemed to apply to any artwork, and he was always particularly fond of that which had a romantic touch.

“This here has always been my favourite,” he said, confirming Mikleo's thoughts when he pointed to two silhouettes standing on a hill, a beautiful and incredible world stretched out before them. “We have so many great local artists, don't we?”

“Yeah, that's for sure.”

“I've always liked this one because you can't really tell what relation the people have, or even what gender they are. For all we know, they could be a couple of any gender or race, or simply friends or family. It's just really beautiful.”

Mikleo peered at Sorey out of the corner of his eye. Of course, he had heard all of this before, but part of him had thought the comment about gender had been made purely to seem like a nice thing to mention around him. It felt a little different to hear Sorey mention it now.

“You sound like quite an accepting person.”

“Of course! I mean, why wouldn't I be?” Sorey turned to face Mikleo, smiling warmly. “Plus, Mikleo is gay, so it'd be entirely unfair if I didn't accept that or anything else about him.” He then laughed, eyes landing back on the painting. “Sorry, I seem to bring him up a lot.”

“N-No, it's fine,” Mikleo answered. “You've … been friends for a long time, after all.”

“Yeah, I guess that's why I always tend to mention him,” said Sorey, rubbing the back of his neck. The pair now started to continue walking, eyes inspecting the other paintings. “I think when you've known someone for so long, you kind of just talk about them without realising.”

“How did you both meet?” Mikleo asked, a sudden curiosity to how Sorey would tell this story rising.

“It was way back in primary school! You see, while he didn't get bullied or anything, he got teased over his eyes, as they're an unusual purple colour. But I found it really cool and told him that on the playground one day. I was pretty popular, so others felt confident to join my lead, and next thing you know, everyone was saying how awesome it was that he was like that!”

“That's very kind of you to help improve things that way,” Mikleo said, smiling as he replayed the memories in his mind.

“Well, I didn't really do anything. Little kids don't always understand something different; I'm sure they _wanted_ to say all that, but weren't sure how to until someone else did it for them. Since then, Mikleo and I have been really close.”

“That's nice. A lot of people really wish to have a friend like that.”

“Yeah, I'm definitely lucky. But anyway, let's talk about you some more! How long have you been friends with Edna!”

“O-Oh, uh …” Mikleo stuttered, considering for a moment to state how long they had been siblings for, yet thinking that Sorey might pick up on that. “For a few years. Edna keeps to herself about some of these things, so she might not have mentioned me.”

“Nah, she didn't. But you're right; the only people she really talks about are her siblings and sometimes Zaveid, who is close to the family. She's kind of quiet about others.”

“I completely understand. I'm quiet about things, too.”

“I've noticed that. You don't seem to have told me a lot about yourself, yet.”

“I'm sorry,” Mikleo said hurriedly, “it's just …”

“Hey, it's fine! We've not long met, I don't expect to know a lot.” Sorey chuckled lightly. “Though I should learn a little bit more, soon. I need to know what differences there actually is between you and Mikleo.”

He forced a laugh himself, feeling awkward over this statement, yet it luckily passed when they reached an area with paintings of animals, which he knew was a section that Sorey adored. Yet Sorey's attention seemed to be a little elsewhere regardless of this.

“Ariel?”

“Yes?”

“Is it okay for me to hold your hand?”

Mikleo's heart skipped a beat. He had held hands with Sorey before, but only when they were children, in which it seemed like a perfectly normal thing for them to do. It was entirely different now.

But he swallowed and nodded. “If … if you want.”

Sorey smiled, taking hold of his hand and entwining their fingers. Mikleo was not sure if Sorey felt the same warmth it caused for them to be together like this. Was this normal when holding hands with someone at an age where it would seem romantic? Or was it something which would only happen with Sorey?

 _'I should stop thinking about that,'_ he thought to himself, feeling himself blush from embarrassment over the thought of his hand potentially ending up sweaty. _'I don't want to seem too nervous.'_

Yet Sorey only smiled down at him. “Sorry, we don't have to if it's too awkward for you.”

“N-No, it's fine,” Mikleo mumbled, now wondering how Sorey would react if he knew who exactly he was holding the hand of. “I'm just … shy, I guess.”

“I understand. Don't worry about that, though! I think it's cute.”

Mikleo smiled faintly, unsure of what to say in response to that. Sorey did not pressure him for a reply, however; they simply walked on. It was surprising how different everything seemed now with such a simple touch.

Time passed quickly, Mikleo unsure of whether this was a good or bad thing. Either way, it didn't stop this passing time seem to feel like it suddenly came to a stop when Sorey's lips brushed against his cheek once they were outside, pulling back with a wide smile.

“Thank you for spending time with me again,” he said. “Maybe next time, you could come to my house for dinner?”

_'No. Don't say yes, this is the moment where it has to end. It can't go on any further than this.'_

But his cheek tingled from the kiss, a warmth feeling as though it spread from it. For these few moments, it felt like he had been pulled from reality and into a world of fantasy, in which his best friend truly did love him back. In which he was not alone.

“That sounds nice to me.”

No. No, it didn't. He should not have said that. Yet he did, and now he was walking back home, feeling more conflicted and confused than ever.

He knew that latching onto this was worthless, that it was not true happiness and that it was awful of him to take advantage of it. Perhaps if he had confessed in the past, been rejected and moved on, he would not be so desperate to grasp onto his only chance.

He had been foolish, and was now paying the consequences of being so.

 

* * *

 

 

The passing of a few days brought him to Sorey's home, thankfully as himself. They walked home after college together, Mikleo asking if he could come over. Whether Sorey realised there was something wrong, Mikleo did not know. If he did, he had chosen not to mention anything yet.

The truth was that Edna had been ignoring him for days, or at least as much as she could. Even Eizen, who tried to be a bit more understanding than his younger sister, seemed to be off with Mikleo himself. He couldn't blame either of them. After all, they just wanted what was best for Sorey and Mikleo, and what the latter was going through with was far from that.

The others might not have noticed much; after all, Edna and Mikleo often had small arguments which grew bigger by both being stubborn with one another. It was rare that they fought over something which was actually serious.

Luckily, it wasn't rare for Sorey and Mikleo to spend time with each other randomly, and so Sorey didn't question Mikleo asking about this. He just smiled, seeming joyful over being asked. Each smile seemed to add to Mikleo's guilt.

Before long, the two were outside Sorey's bungalow, Sorey turning around and casting a smile at Mikleo as he took hold of the door handle. There was a small delay in Mikleo's response of returning this smile, yet it was not commented on just yet.

“Hey gramps!” Sorey called as the two entered, closing the door after Mikleo. “Mikleo is with me!”

“Oh, it's great to see you,” Zenrus said as he looked around the doorway. “Will you be staying for dinner?”

“As long as it's no trouble," Mikleo replied.

“No, it's my pleasure. It'll be ready by six.”

Mikleo nodded, peering to his side to check the clock on the wall. Forty-five minutes from then.

It was their natural instinct to head upstairs and settle down on Sorey's bed. Sorey himself fell onto his back with a large sigh, giving Mikleo a grin. It faltered over how Mikleo didn't seem to be fully there as he sat down next to him much more hesitantly.

“What's the matter?” Sorey asked, which seemed to cause Mikleo to jump slightly.

“Nothing much.”

“You sure? You've seemed off since a couple of days ago."

Mikleo was not quite meeting Sorey's eye, his gaze instead dropping down onto his hands, picking at the nails slightly. There was no telling what was going through his head, to be able to know that the images going through it were that of Sorey's simple, light kisses on his skin.

“It's complicated,” Mikleo replied eventually. “Hard to explain.”

Sorey sat up, wanting to give Mikleo his full attention. “Is it linked in with what's going on between you and Edna?”

Mikleo glanced at Sorey, a little surprise written on his face. Apparently, he had not expected Sorey to notice. He couldn't blame him; after all, he knew himself that he was often oblivious.

“Yeah,” Mikleo replied, the drop in the volume of his voice a little worrying. “I don't think I can talk about it, though.”

“You sure?”

A strained smile was sent in his direction for a moment. “Yeah. For now, anyway. I just need a bit of time.”

Sorey nodded. “I understand.” He looked at Mikleo's eyes, or more specifically, under them; he hadn't had much chance to look due to Mikleo often diverting his gaze away, but there were faint dark circles under them, as though he was missing out on some sleep. And just like it had been so during the college day, Sorey could not look for long; Mikleo was soon turning away, even backing away a little.

 _'Did I do something?'_ Sorey thought to himself, his worry increasing. _'But if I did, why would he want to come around here?'_

“You seem tired,” he said instead, deciding to simply show his support as opposed to question his thoughts aloud. “Why don't you lie down until dinner?”

Normally, Mikleo would decline this kind of offer, not one to like to nap during the day in fear of wasting time, or simply just because he hated seeming weak or having others worry for him. But today, he instead nodded, soon curling up on Sorey's bed, his head resting on the pillow.

Sorey stayed silent, not wanting to disturb him. It was ten minutes later in which he noticed that Mikleo was already asleep.

He found himself shuffling closer, smiling to himself as thoughts went through his mind. When they were younger, they would constantly sleep over at each other's houses, rarely sleeping by themselves. Even once they reached high school and their visits to each other's houses were reduced, they still shared a bed. No one questioned it, not even themselves. They were simply that close. Even Mikleo's sexuality never once changed that.

It did not change how they had always been best friends, or change any way that Sorey saw themselves. In fact, if anyone drifted away a little, it had been Mikleo. He was the one who started making excuses a little more frequently; not often enough so that they'd never see each other, but still more so than in the past. Now he thought about it, Sorey noticed how Mikleo seemed a little more secretive ever since they started college. The change had been so slow and subtle that it was hard to notice unless all of the years were focused on together, as opposed to just recently.

He liked to imagine that Mikleo was still able to speak to Sorey about anything. Only now, it seemed like this could not be the case anymore.

Letting out a small sigh, Sorey grabbed a blanket to place over Mikleo's body, worried about him becoming cold despite the spring season. It was during this that a thought in his mind arrived, when his eyes fell on the soft brown hair swooped past closed eyes with long eyelashes. A thought which caught him off guard, despite how he was certain he thought about it many times before. Mikleo truly was beautiful.

He was not afraid to admit it; after all, he'd compliment his male and female friends the same, truthfully and without worry about how it made him appear. He even said to Ariel that he found his own best friend beautiful. Yet now there was a strange feeling inside to go along with how he saw his friend's appearance. Confusion? He had no idea. Perhaps the fact that Ariel's face seemed so similar was what caused him to now be confused with Mikleo's appearance.

After all, their similarity was almost impossible to believe.


	5. Hurts to Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The third date arrives, also bringing forward the day in which Mikleo fears could end everything.

There had been one thing Mikleo had not considered with this plan which he was going through with. That was the possibility of not actually feeling feminine on a day he was supposed to be Ariel.

He had figured out by now that his feminine traits would never just erase themselves on days where he felt more masculine, and yet as he sat down on Friday afternoon by his vanity table, adjusting his wig into place, he found himself a little uncomfortable. At the very least, he felt no need to pay full attention to his outfit due to only visiting Sorey's home as opposed to them going out somewhere, but he still needed to focus on himself enough so he looked different. Today, it was exhausting.

Edna leaned against the doorway. At first, both had stayed silent, neither sure of whether or not the silence should be broken. Eventually, however, she spoke out, as he had expected her to do so.

“You're going to his house today, right?”

“That's right,” Mikleo responded in a monotone voice, applying a touch of gloss to his lips.

“I wonder if Zenrus will recognise you.”

In an instant, his heart seemed to pound a little faster. He had not thought of this possibility. Edna seemed to notice this hesitation to speak.

“Well, at least it'd be one way for him to find out,” Edna said, her own voice expressionless. She straightened up her body, directly looking at Mikleo. “It's not really the best way, but at least he'd know the truth.”

“Wait, Edna,” Mikleo called out a little desperately when she backed into the hallway. She stopped, facing him with a raised eyebrow. He was now rising out of his seat, and for a moment, the fact that his expression was a little distraught almost broke down her guards, yet she remained firm.

“What? I don't have much time for someone who is going to be dishonest with his best friend.”

“I'm not trying to be dishonest. I want to end this, I really do. I just –”

“Then do it. If you really wanted to, you'd grab Eizen's phone off him right now and do it in a heartbeat. Yet you're not.”

“You're making it sound so easy.”

“And _you're_ making this harder than it has to be.” Edna turned around, calling over her shoulder. “Don't blame me if this backfires and puts an even bigger wedge between you both. I did warn you.”

She left without another word, Mikleo not bothering to stop her. He knew she was right; he had known that all along, in fact. He simply felt trapped.

Regardless of her words, he was heading out to Sorey's before long and, for the first time since dressing this way, felt uncomfortable and unlike himself.

 

* * *

 

 

If there was one thing which could at least raise his spirits a little, it was Sorey's smile in greeting as he opened the front door.

“Ariel!” he said enthusiastically, stepping to one side. “You really should have let me pick you up.”

“It's fine,” Mikleo replied immediately. He had already said no to the suggestion due to Sorey not exactly being able to pick Mikleo up from his house itself. “It wasn't that much of a walk.”

“I have the food started, anyway,” Sorey said, waiting as Mikleo slid pumps off his feet, who looked up curiously over these words.

“Is no one here?” he asked, having expected Zenrus to cook for them both.

“Yeah, Gramps has gone out for a meal with a colleague,” Sorey explained, before giving Mikleo an explanation of where each room was as they made their way over to the kitchen. Mikleo couldn't help but be amused; after all, Sorey had lived in this very bungalow for years, and Mikleo had lost track of how many times he had been there.

As soon as the kitchen door was opened, he smiled at a welcoming, familiar aroma greeting him. Sorey immediately noticed this, grinning as he held onto a wooden spoon in a pot.

“I'm not great at a huge lot of things, but I've gotten the hang of curry,” he said as he stirred it. “You're fine with that, then?”

Mikleo nodded, walking over. “Been cooking for long?” he asked.

“For a couple of years. Mikleo kept nagging that I should learn from Zenrus, even though he's actually much better at baking than he is general cooking. I'm still not really the best at some things, but I'm pretty all right at this.”

Mikleo glanced at him with amusement for a moment. He might not be one to praise Sorey too heavily, but he always silently admitted that there were a few dishes that Sorey was great at, and curry was one of them. It seemed like he was trying to be a little more modest with Ariel than he was to Mikleo. If it had been Mikleo standing there, he would have likely had a much more teasing, boastful tone. Mikleo wasn't sure which he preferred.

“It should be done in five minutes, I think,” Sorey said, now placing naan bread in the oven to heat up. “Want to sit down?”

“I'll set the table, first.”

“Oh, thank you! The plates are in that cupboard there, and the knives and forks in that drawer.”

Mikleo was thankful for the fast response; he had almost fetched them out of their storage without taking a moment to think about how strange it would be for him to do so.

Minutes later, Sorey placed the plates down, not eating himself before Mikleo took his first bite. His eyes grew warm at the reaction.

“Like it?”

“Definitely,” Mikleo replied, brushing a few strands of his wig behind his ear. “I think you under-exaggerated yourself a bit.”

“Well, I didn't want to seem too boastful,” said Sorey. Mikleo was glad to see a somewhat cheeky smile on his face; it made Mikleo feel much more like himself to receive it, even if he technically wasn't.

They ate rather quickly, both ravenous after college, yet their meal was still filled with the usual conversation. It became a little awkward when it shifted to Ariel's time in college, yet Mikleo had expected this to happen sooner or later. It was easy enough to make up the story when he acted as though the work was his main focus, and before long, he could turn it back to Sorey. It was strangely enjoyable to hear about himself from Sorey's point of view, most likely because it was always in a negative light.

Following this, they sat in Sorey's room, with the aim for him to show Mikleo which books he owned. Whilst he was listening enough to respond at the correct moments, his mind was a little distracted. Why did the room he had been in so often seem so different now? He always felt utterly relaxed and comfortable in there. But now, he was filled with a nervousness he could not shift, no matter how hard he tried. Was this what it felt like to be alone with someone who seemed to have feelings for you?

A one-sided love felt different. He had known Sorey long enough to not feel any different in his presence when they were alone, even after he had realised the extent of his feelings. Yet Sorey clearly had a crush on Ariel, which is where things changed. It was the thought of this which caused his heart to beat a little faster.

“I grew tired of children's books eventually, and that's when Gramps gave me my first non-fiction book,” Sorey was explaining, holding out a history book. “I've read this so many times I've lost count. I guess it holds more emotional attachment than anything else I've read.”

“I think it's normal for a book lover to have that one book which they love more than anything else.”

Sorey smiled. “Yeah, that's true.” His hand was placed on top of Mikleo's, whose head spun around immediately. “Are you all right?”

“Y-Yeah, why?” Mikleo questioned. His nerves spiked when looking into Sorey's eyes, yet he found himself entirely unable to tear away his gaze.

“You seem … I don't know, uncomfortable? I'm sorry, maybe you shouldn't have come here so soon …”

Mikleo shook his head quickly. “No, it's fine. I like being here. It's just …”

“Just what?”

He swallowed, looking down at the hand on top of his. “It's hard to say.”

Sorey faintly smiled, his hand pushing up Mikleo's so their palms met, fingers intertwining. “Have you never been on dates before?”

Surprised by the question, it took Mikleo a moment to be able to shake his head. “No. You're … you're the first.”

“I thought so. I've only ever dated one other girl – Alisha, I think I've mentioned her – and while I was nervous, it was her who was mostly like you. Nervous to be close and such. It's normal, if that's what you're wondering.”

Mikleo stayed silent for a moment, risking a glance at Sorey's eyes before he cleared his throat, looking away again. “And then there's you.”

Sorey chuckled lightly. “What do you mean?”

“You don't seem nervous at all.”

“I am. Well, kind of.”

“How only 'kind of'?”

“Well, I live in the moment, I guess. I don't overthink about the worst that could happen. I think that helps me not be nervous, because whatever happens, happens.”

Mikleo smiled. The statement was so Sorey that it was hard not to do so. “I see. That makes sense.”

“I know it's not an easy mindset to have though, especially if you're inexperienced with dating. I've just always been this way.”

“Have a personality like that and everyone will fall for you.”

Sorey laughed, scratching the back of his head with his spare hand. “I don't mean to be like that, honest! Just … well, I act naturally.” He then lifted the hand he was holding to brush his lips against the knuckles, his smile growing. “I just do whatever feels right.”

Mikleo blinked, certain the hand held to Sorey's lips would begin shaking. It was all the right words to the wrong person. It was difficult to not be caught up in them.

“What if the person you had feelings for weren't who you thought they were?” Mikleo found himself asking, his voice barely above a whisper. “What about then?”

“How do you mean?”

“They're different than what you believed. Hiding something from you.”

Sorey paused, lowering the hand down from his mouth, yet still holding onto it. “It depends on what they were hiding and why they were doing so,” he said after his moments of thought. “After all, we all have secrets that we feel the need to hide at times. Whether they're talked about when more trust is built is up to them. As long as it's not purposefully to hurt another person, I can forgive them.”

Mikleo bit his lip. He should have felt joyful over that response, yet it only brought him anxiety over what he had to do. “That's … a good way to be, really.”

“You think so? I often get told people might walk over me for being that way.”

He shook his head. “If you let them, they would. But as far as I can tell, being like that only means that you're willing to understand someone. That's what I believe, at least.”

“Thank you,” Sorey smiled. “That means a lot.”

His spare hand reached for Mikleo's face, hesitating for a moment when Mikleo's body froze, yet continued his movement to brush strands of hair away from his face once he had relaxed a little.

“About doing what feels right,” Sorey continued, tucking the hair behind Mikleo's ear, “I want to kiss you, if you'd let me.”

Mikleo could feel his heart beat even faster than it was before, yet somehow, he managed to bring himself to nod slowly. A hand cupped his face, his eyes remaining partially open for just a moment as lips brushed softly against his own, yet soon fluttered close as Sorey edged closer.

It was softer and warmer than he realised it would be. He had heard about how wonderful a kiss could be with someone who you loved dearly, yet it was only now that he was experiencing what this felt like. It was light, almost careful, as though Sorey didn't want to overstep any boundaries. Though even with this lightness, it was enough to feel warmth radiate inside his chest.

There was a delay in Mikleo opening his eyes once Sorey parted away slowly, averting his eyes to Sorey's own. It was then that he realised just how tightly he had been gripping onto Sorey's hand. He pulled it away instantly, embarrassment deepening the blush tinting his cheeks.

“S-Sorry,” he stuttered, shifting his gaze away. “I just …”

His words drifted off when his head was gently turned back to face Sorey. The hand which Mikleo had released settled on Mikleo's waist, and perhaps it was obvious that he would be brought into a kiss once more, yet he knew he would have still gasped if lips had not been on his own.

He had no idea what to do. All he could do to react was kiss back nervously, his hands steadily making their way to rest on Sorey's chest, yet he felt as though those hands should have pushed Sorey away. He was confused and conflicted; kissing Sorey felt wonderful, just as much as he dreamed of, yet this was not him. Sorey was not enjoying kissing _him._ This was a lie, one which he wanted to live in, but also wanted to escape from.

With a little regret, he pulled away gently and placed his hands down on the bed in front of him, eyes falling down on them. He tried to speak, yet had no idea what words to say. He remained like this even as Sorey let go of him, Mikleo able to feel his eyes on him.

“Ariel?”

Mikleo could feel himself wince at the name. He glanced up for a moment before looking away, not being able to bear the concern in Sorey's eyes.

“You're crying.”

Mikleo blinked, and sure enough, he could feel a single tear escape as he did so. He hurriedly wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, forcing out an awkward laugh.

“Sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?” Sorey asked quietly. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it's just … I guess I'm overwhelmed.”

Sorey ran his thumb over the back of one of Mikleo's hands, looking guilty. “I'm sorry. We've only known each other for a month, I should have known that it would have been too soon.”

“No, it wasn't too soon at all, don't worry.”

 _'It wasn't soon enough,'_ he thought to himself, unable to catch Sorey's eyes. _'I've wanted this to happen for years. But now it's happening, I'm not even myself.'_

“Are you sure? I didn't want you to be pushed into anything.”

“First kisses are nerve-wrecking, I suppose,” said Mikleo, forcing a smile in Sorey's direction.

“Yeah, that's true,” Sorey responded, though he sounded a little hesitant. Mikleo couldn't blame him; in a normal situation, what kind of person would cry over their first kiss?

“I'm sorry, but I should get heading back,” Mikleo said, getting up off the bed. “I think I need time to think over things.”

Sorey smiled. “That's understandable. Want me to drive you back?”

“No,” Mikleo replied a little too quickly. “No, it's fine. I think I could do with the walk.”

It was hardly a lie; after all, he was needing air quickly with how much he was feeling overwhelmed.

Sorey walked him to the door as he stayed silent, not wanting to hear the question of whether or not they would see each other again. At this moment in time, he had no idea how to answer. He was not sure whether he was lucky or not when Sorey asked something different.

“Would you tell me if anything was wrong?” he asked by the doorway, Mikleo stood outside. “I'd want to help if anything _was_ wrong with you.”

Mikleo stayed silent for a moment, running his tongue over his lips. The smile he then forced was shaky, so unbelievably fake that he knew that Sorey would see right through it.

“I'd try.”

“That's better than a complete no.” Sorey leaned down to brush his lips lightly on top of Mikleo's head. “Get home safely.”

Mikleo nodded, not lingering for much longer, yet found himself looking back at the closed front door when he was further down the street.

 

* * *

 

 

He was getting ready to receive his onslaught of questions and an argumentative attitude when he got home. But perhaps there was something about the way he hardly had the ability to call about his return, and the fact that he went straight upstairs to his room, that made the others not pester him as soon as he walked in.

He shoved off his shoes and pulled the wig from his head, casting it aside onto the bed as he sat on its edge. He reached over for a make-up wipe, hoping that at least removing that would help him feel less confined. Edna, Eizen and Zaveid, who had been around for dinner, were soon lingering in the doorway.

“What happened, Mikster?” Zaveid asked, sounding a little hesitant, even though he was usually blunt and straightforward. Did Mikleo really look this dishevelled?

“We kissed,” he replied quietly, discarding the make-up wipe into a trash can. He took a deep breath, yet it did nothing to calm the nerves that saying those two words brought. “And I don't know how to feel about that.”

A momentary silence was followed by him being pulled into arms much larger than his own, then another pair, and a small hand resting on his leg. He smiled warmly and closed his eyes. This was something which he had been lacking in for the past few days.

“I should continue nagging at you,” Edna said from his side, “but I don't think it's the right time for that.”

“I probably need the nagging,” he said, leaning forward once the hold on him was released, his face resting in his hands. “I mean, I've let it get to this point.”

“So you've finally had your first kiss,” said Eizen. “With the person you want to, as well.”

“You just weren't who you wanted to be,” Zaveid added, Mikleo nodding.

“I want it to be me, not her.”

“So it's time to let go of that,” said Edna. “We did this to help boost your confidence and accept who you are. We didn't want you to end up putting yourself in a more awkward situation than before.”

Mikleo nodded slowly. “You're right. I'm going to break it off when I next see him, and take that time to work out how to tell him the truth."

“I doubt that's a promise, though.”

“Edna …” Zaveid said warningly, but Mikleo interrupted him.

“No, she's right. I should have said no in the first place. It's obvious that I can't be trusted to break this off.” He sat back up, chuckling humourlessly. “I'm usually the rational one who _stops_ things like this happening.”

“That's what happens when you're in love,” Zaveid said, patting his back. “You do things you usually wouldn't dare to do at all.”

Eizen raised an eyebrow. “Like you'd understand what being in love is like.”

“Hey! Just because my romances can be – uh, short-lasting …”

“That's one way to put it,” Eizen smirked. “Anyway, why not get out of those clothes, get your pyjamas on and we'll watch a movie?”

Mikleo smiled faintly. “I suppose that's a good idea.”

“Then we'll be waiting for you downstairs,” Zaveid said, ruffling his hair as he got up. “I'll make sure it has lots of dogs for you!”

Mikleo groaned. “Don't you _dare.”_

Zaveid simply grinned before he made his way out of the room, Eizen in tow. Edna lingered for a little bit longer, looking at Mikleo with an expression he often did not see on her; she seemed curious, yet also sympathetic.

“How did it feel to kiss him?” she asked quietly. “Was it like how you imagined it, or different because of you being Ariel?”

Mikleo paused, unsure of the answer himself. “I think … I think at first, it felt amazing, because I was caught up in it. But then I realised exactly what kind of situation I was in, and then I became conflicted instead.”

“I thought that'd be the case,” she replied, getting up off the bed. “It's just got me thinking.”

“What has?”

“How upset you seem now, and how you clearly must have enjoyed kissing him,” she expanded. “I might not feel romantic attraction myself, but … I don't know, I just find it hard to imagine that such a caring dork like him wouldn't be able to return those feelings. Gender or not, I just can't ever imagine him rejecting you, whether you're Mikleo or Ariel.”

She was now stood by the open door, resting her hand on the door frame with a small smile on her face. “You've been an idiot, I know. But maybe this really does show something. I wouldn't give up on him just yet, Meebo.”

Mikleo had no words for her, taken aback by her kindness, yet she seemed to have expected this lack of a response. Looking satisfied, she turned away and closed the door after herself, leaving Mikleo in silence.

It was, of course, a hope he had thought about many times. He did not know Sorey's sexuality for sure, and there was no saying that perhaps they really would be able to move on from being friends to a couple. But would Mikleo have broken the trust between them far too much from these lies? Would that have ruined any possibilities between them?

He sighed as he ran his fingers through brown hair, unsure of the answers. He knew that there was only one way for him to discover what those answers were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You: *screams at me for not making the confession happen yet*
> 
> Something along those lines will come. After all, there will likely only be more than three chapters. Lil anxious baby, like me, needs time with these things. *side glance at how long I can stay in relationships I want to end*
> 
> Thanks for reading! Next week's update will be on Thursday instead, being as I'll be in a hotel on Friday and Saturday night and won't have much Internet.


	6. Ended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first step to bring forward the truth was to end the lie that he had created.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, I'm so unaccustomed to updating on a Thursday that I forgot to proof read yesterday AND almost forgot about uploading tonight! Apologies if I didn't catch any mistakes; I'm a little distracted by the thought of leaving tomorrow, and I likely won't spend too much time on proof reading.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was no surprise that in the evening after their kiss, Mikleo received a message off Sorey in regards to it.

There was at least a relief brought by how Sorey did not seem upset. He mostly seemed confused, wondering if he really had done something wrong without realising. Mikleo was glad that he at least had not become upset, yet still felt guilty over his actions. He comforted Sorey in the best way he could and gave advice, finding that he was no longer making as much of a large effort to conceal his identity. Yet Sorey did not seem to pick up on that, simply thanking Mikleo and saying he should talk about it more in person, after he had done a little thinking.

He was not the only one deciding to do something like this. The following weekend, Mikleo took the opportunity of Sorey having a shift to see Lailah with Edna. The three had not been together for several weeks, ever since Mikleo had been having his dates, and even if he knew Lailah's advice would be the exact same, he felt a need to hear it from her.

Edna by his side, the two made their way to the park in which they'd be meeting Lailah, after Edna ensuring that a T-shirt and jeans were what Mikleo _really_ wanted to wear. Even just from the smile in greeting that Lailah gave to them, Mikleo could feel a little of his anxiety be relieved. He felt a little guilty that he had not seen it for a while.

“I was so glad to hear off you both,” said Lailah. “I can only say so much over message.”

“Sorry about that,” Mikleo apologised quickly. “I just got caught up in everything.”

Lailah shook her head. “There's no need to apologise, I understand. Shall we take a walk?”

They did so in silence for the first few moments. Mikleo would have liked to believe it was due to appreciating the nature around them and how quiet it was, yet he knew that it was all down to each wanting to say something, but having no idea how to. Unsurprisingly, it was Edna who spoke in her usual way.

“You've probably guessed by now that Meebo is an idiot.”

“Edna, shut it.”

“That's not a kind word to use,” Lailah said, amused. “But I can see where it would come from.”

Mikleo let out a huff. “Great. _Both_ of you are teaming up on me.”

“I'm not teaming up with anyone,” Edna said. “Just saying the truth.”

“And I would not call you such a word,” Lailah added.

“Still, I keep saying that Edna is right.” Mikleo let out a sigh. “I'll sort it out. It's just getting to that stage.”

“I do think that you're putting yourself down too much,” Lailah said. “I mean, it seems like all of the pride and accomplishment over being able to dress how you like has just faded. Why are you still not giving yourself credit for that?”

“I suppose because of what it led to. Edna's been right all this time; I should have just accepted who I was and dress how I liked, not feel pressured to make a whole other identity. If I had done that, none of this would have happened.”

“There's no use regretting the past so much like that. It'll do more harm than good. Focus on the present, and how you are going to deal with this.”

Mikleo nodded. “Thank you.”

“How has Sorey been with you?” Edna asked.

“He … well, pretty much the same, though I guess something feels different now. I think dating him as Ariel makes me find it pretty hard to remember how to feel around him.”

“You don't need to remember how to feel around him. Just act naturally.”

“If I did that, I'd end up being like how I am as Ariel,” he mumbled.

“So … the same, but kissing, too.”

“I feel as though perhaps Mikleo just needs to confess already,” Lailah chirped, Mikleo's gaze falling on her in an instant, before he coughed and looked ahead.

“W-Well, I already have enough to think about without that as well. I just … I know I want him to know the full truth about who Ariel is, rather than just leave him. But I don't know if I can say _more_ than that.”

“Mikleo, you made out with him,” Edna stated bluntly. “I think that kind of already says that you have feelings for him.”

“We didn't make out! It was just kissing!”

“Still. You can't just say you're Ariel now and expect him to just accept that and not question anything. He'd wonder why you didn't drop this sooner, or stop him from kissing you.”

“That's true, it's just –”

“I told you about how he seems to be,” Edna said in a softer voice, a hint of a smile on her face. “About how I feel as though gender truly wouldn't stand in the way of someone like him. I mean, I could be wrong, but even if I am, I doubt he'd judge you or anything.”

“But … but we kissed, and that –”

“This is _Sorey._ You really think that he would throw away a friendship of over a decade because of a kiss?”

The fact that Mikleo knew the answer instantly proved her words. “I think you're right.”

“The only thing that would potentially harm anything about your friendship is if you continued to lie,” Lailah said. “So tell him the truth.”

Mikleo nodded. “I want to break it off as Ariel first, as I don't really want to drop a bombshell like that on him after how confused he was over my – uh, reaction to the kiss.” He coughed, remembering that neither knew about the crying. “We were on the phone last night and decided on next weekend. I'll speak to him then, and decide if I tell him about who she really is then as well, or if I want to do that as myself. I think I need that week to work out … well, how I might end up talking about my feelings or anything.”

Edna gave him a suspicious glance. “That's not an excuse or anything, is it?”

“No, it's not. I hadn't really properly thought about how I'd have to confess to him about my feelings, too. I can't just come up with a confession right this instant, not after how long it's been.”

“That's understandable,” said Lailah. “And if all goes well, you may just find yourself happier than you've ever been within a week's time.”

The words brought Mikleo a hope which did not fade as the conversation shifted, or even when they decided to head home. He really had thought all of this would turn out hopeless, yet perhaps it was not simply wishful thinking in hoping that things would go smoothly.

 

* * *

 

 

The day was soon Monday. Tired from the continuous study for their upcoming exams, the group were relaxing on grass outside of the college, soaking up warm sunshine and appreciating the gentle spring breeze. Sorey watched over Mikleo's shoulder as he sketched slowly, finishing up the last of his coursework before it was to be handed in.

Meanwhile, Rose lifted her head from Alisha's shoulder as she dangled a few blades of grass above Dezel's face. “Wake up, sleepyhead,” she sang, Dezel groaning and waving the grass away from himself.

“I wasn't sleeping. My eyes weren't even closed.”

“Well, I can't tell when you have hair covering them 24/7.”

Sorey laughed, before turning his gaze back to Mikleo's paper. “That's turning out great. Don't you need to rest up yourself, though?”

“I just want to make sure everything here is done before my exams,” he answered, giving Sorey a reassuring smile. “I'm only doing a little at a time. Don't worry about it.”

“Concerned boyfriend alert,” Edna said, who was sat in front of Mikleo. She smirked when he cast her a glare; it seemed as though she no longer seemed to be bothering much over holding herself back anymore, and Mikleo had no idea how he felt about that.

“Hey now, I doubt Sorey would date two people at once,” Rose laughed. “How _is_ that going on?”

“Ah, things are a bit tense between us,” Sorey admitted, scratching the back of his head. “Not severely or anything, and we're still seeing each other this weekend. But … well, it just seems off.”

“Did anything happen?” Alisha asked.

“Well, she seemed a bit upset. And we ended up kissing, which … which caused her to cry.”

Mikleo could feel Edna's gaze burning him, causing him to swallow. Whether she would tease him or not over that, he did not know, and barely even cared. He simply knew that this meant Edna would truly see the height of how distressed he was.

“Cry?” Alisha said softly. “But why would she cry?”

“Were you an asshole to her without realising?” Dezel questioned, Rose slapping his arm roughly.

“N-No!” Sorey protested. “I just … I think that something about all of this is stressing her out. I don't know what it is, though.” His voice and expression made Mikleo's already existing guilt increase; he knew how awful it was for Sorey to feel like he had accidentally upset someone. “I'm just so confused about all of this.”

“What's confusing you?” Rose asked.

Sorey laughed awkwardly, running a hand through his hair. “I don't even know how to talk about that.” He proceeded to lean back on his hands, appearing thoughtful. “We've known each other for about seven weeks now. Yet it feels like we've known each other longer.”

“It does?” said Mikleo quietly, in which Sorey nodded, smiling faintly.

“Yeah, and I think it's because of you. There's differences, sure, but you're both really similar. So it's … kind of like being with you when I'm with _her_ , in a way. It's almost like being with the same person.”

“Woah, they're _that_ similar?” said Rose, her eyes widening. “I never knew they had that many things in common!”

Sorey nodded. “And the thing is that when I'm with Mikleo, I think about her. But when I'm with her, I think about Mikleo. What's that all about?”

A silence fell briefly as the others thought over this. “Well, I suppose that could happen if they are so similar,” said Alisha. “As though you're being reminded of the other so much.”

“That's what I was thinking. I just feel bad because I shouldn't be comparing my childhood friend to a girl I've only known for just over a month. That isn't right.”

Mikleo was almost unable to smile when Sorey did so to him, too taken aback by how grateful he was for those words to do so. He was a little thankful that Dezel stated that lessons were starting again in five minutes, so they should start heading back. At least he wouldn't have to find words to respond with this way.

Though when they got up on their feet, as Mikleo began to brush blades of grass off his jeans, Alisha had made her way over to him, greeting him with a smile.

“Mind if I ask you something about our coursework?”

“Oh yeah, sure,” he said, he and Alisha proceeding to linger behind the other three. Edna had stayed looking at Mikleo for a moment, seeming as though she wanted to say something, but she soon caught up to the others and scared Rose from behind. “What is it that you need to ask?”

“Well, that was a lie, honestly,” Alisha replied. “Or at least, it was about it being coursework.”

Mikleo blinked. “O-Oh, all right. What is it, then?”

“Do you have feelings for Sorey?”

He could only stare for a moment, caught off guard by the sudden question. He wondered for a moment if this silence would cause Alisha to stutter an apology over perhaps seeming intrusive, yet she stayed silent herself, her expression simply one of curiosity. Unable to say no to an expression like this, he sighed and nodded slowly.

“Yes, I do.”

“I thought so. Rose and I had questioned about it a few times in the past, but now … well, it seems as though you grow quiet whenever he mentions Ariel. I thought you might have been jealous.”

“I am.”

“How long have you had feelings for him?”

He shrugged, never able to answer this question. “I think it's more of a case of when _didn't_ I have feelings for him.”

“That's a long time to go without saying anything … Or _have_ you said something to him?”

He shook his head quickly. “N-No, I've never been able to.”

“So even whilst Sorey and I were together, you …” she said softly, her voice drifting off for a moment. “You always seemed to be so happy for us.”

“That's because I was. I wasn't about to let my feelings get in the way of both of you guys being happy. Ariel is just … different.”

“I suppose because Sorey has known her for a much shorter time than he knew me.”

Mikleo hummed. “It's all pretty complicated.”

Alisha was silent for a moment, her eyes falling on the others ahead, now making their way through the corridors. “I think you should tell him. If you've had feelings for this long and they won't settle, I think it's time you need to confess them.”

“I agree. It's just always been difficult, especially with the thought of making him uncomfortable around me.”

“He could never be like that with you. You mean the world and more to him.”

“Thank you,” he said, smiling. “I really needed to hear that.”

Moments later, they returned to the others, Mikleo hoping that Alisha's words would remain true even if Sorey learned that the lips he kissed were those of his best friend.

 

* * *

 

 

Mikleo could not be certain about whether or not the weekdays passing by quickly was positive or not. On one hand, it would stop him from lying in waiting, even further dread than what already existed. But on the other, it made him feel like he had not had much time to prepare for this at all. It was no wonder that on Friday night, before the day that Mikleo would finally break this off and confess about his own feelings, he was lying awake.

Not one to purposefully stay up, still being awake by one in the morning was rare. It was even rarer for him to grab onto his phone off his nightstand. He knew that he would not be getting any sleep yet.

What surprised him was how after switching it on, he found a message from Sorey, who usually never messaged him after the time he knew Mikleo would be in bed. However, here his message was. Mikleo turned on the lamp next to him, put on a pair of glasses and opened it.

_'Sorry Mikleo, I know you're probably asleep, so you're okay to reply whenever you can. I'm just kind of worried about tomorrow and I wanted to talk to someone about it. The thing is that I have no idea why she was so upset? It's pretty confusing, and I'm wondering if it's because of me. Then I feel like I've not had much time for you either, and I don't know. I think if she doesn't end this, I might do it myself. Sorry for rambling on at you!'_

Mikleo's eyebrows furrowed. This kind of thing was so rare for Sorey that it was concerning. Yet at the same time, he felt grateful for how wary Sorey was being, and was willing to end this to help what he thought was two people. It was clear that all of Sorey's struggling in this moment was due to his care for others.

_'I'm awake, actually; I'm struggling to get to sleep. Want to call me?'_

The reply came quickly. _'Oh, you are? That's pretty worrying… But I think I'd like that, if it's okay!'_

_'Of course it is.'_

The call arrived instantly; so quick, in fact, that Mikleo smiled from amusement over it. He placed the phone by his ear.

“ _You're never awake at this time.”_

Mikleo chuckled lightly. “Sometimes I can't sleep as well. I'll just be quiet. So … you're thinking about ending this with her?”

“ _I'm not sure. I think so.”_ There was a brief pause. _“I guess I just kind of feel like this was something I jumped into too quickly. I felt like there was something about her. I don't know how to explain it. It's kind of like one of those movie moments where you see someone and think … well, that you could have something with them.”_

Mikleo could start to feel his heart beat a little faster. “Yet you still want to end it?”

“ _In a way, because I kind of feel like there's something she's hiding. Something that is going to make this bad for both of us, you know? And … well, I don't know. I guess my intuition is just telling me that it might not be best to carry on with this.”_

As much as Mikleo did not want to try and find light in this, he could not help but feel that his and Sorey's emotions were somehow tied. It brought a strange sense of gratitude to know that Sorey felt the same as him.

“I understand. I guess it's as though you feel like something is … well, I don't want to say wrong between you both, but something along those lines.”

“ _No, you're right. I guess 'off' is a better way to put it. Like I enjoy being with her, but not everything seems like how I thought it'd be. I spend half the time with her wanting to be with you instead.”_ Sorey let out an awkward laugh. _“Sorry about this! It's not really like me.”_

“It's fine, Sorey. I really don't mind. And I'm glad you're thinking sensibly about everything.”

“ _I appreciate that, thank you. I'll try to speak to her tomorrow. She's friendly, so no matter what happens, I'm sure it'll all go okay!”_

“I hope it will.”

“ _It's bound to. I have faith in that! So is anything up with you? Like anything which is keeping you up?”_

“O-Oh, not really. I guess I've just been thinking about this as well.”

“ _You really are selfless, Mikleo.”_

Mikleo hummed, guilt weighing heavy on his chest. It was his selfishness, _not_ selflessness, which had driven Sorey to make this very call. “I try to be.”

“ _Well, focus on yourself as well! I don't want you getting put down by my own problems.”_

“It's not just –” Mikleo blurted out, stopping himself in an instant.

“ _It's not just what?”_

“It doesn't matter,” he said hurriedly. “Just – I have a couple of my own problems, too. It's not yours which are the only things weighing me down, so please don't think that it's like that.”

“ _What kind of problems?”_

“N-Nothing that really matters. Don't worry about it.”

“ _It_ does _matter if it's bothering you. What's going on?”_

Mikleo hesitated, running a tongue over his lips. “I … well, it's hard to talk about, really.”

“ _How about you talk about it in person after I see Ariel? Would that help? I just don't want you keeping things to yourself.”_

“Well …” Mikleo grew silent for a moment as he thought about this. As tense and anxiety-inducing it would be, he knew that this was a good opportunity to push himself towards a confession. He had hoped that he would be able to break things off as Ariel, then confess afterwards so that all was solved. The very opportunity to do that was right in front of him.

“ _You don't have to if it's uncomfortable for you.”_

Coming to a conclusion, Mikleo said, “No, it's okay. I will.”

He could hear Sorey's smile in his voice. _“Good to hear.”_ He proceeded to yawn, one which was entirely contagious for Mikleo. Sorey chuckled over this. _“Sounds like we should both get to bed. Thanks for listening.”_

“It's really not a problem.”

“ _And Mikleo?”_

“Yeah?”

“ _Everything's going to be okay.”_

Mikleo smiled. “I hope so.”

The call ended. Turning off his phone and the lamp next to him, he settled down onto the bed and closed his eyes. No more running away.

 

* * *

 

 

Falling asleep after the phone call took Mikleo longer than he would imagine it to do so with the level of tiredness he had. However, he barely noticed. The nerves he felt were much stronger than any tiredness.

Surprisingly, when Edna entered his room as he was applying make-up, he received none of the usual lectures. Mikleo guessed it was from how much she had realised the last date had gotten to him. She had naturally known originally, when she most especially had comforted him afterwards, yet it was Sorey's mention over how Ariel had cried which is what truly made her truly understand Mikleo.

Not many words were spoken when Mikleo was ready to leave. After all, everything had already been said. Edna simply hugged him, Eizen calling out a few words of encouragement from the kitchen. And then he was off.

Perhaps when this was all over, even if the fairytale ending of him being with Sorey did not happen, he really would still be more accepting of himself than he was almost two months ago. With more confidence, he might be able to wear these clothes Eizen had helped him to buy without changing who he was naturally. Brown hair and violet eyes. Makeup, yet not so much it concealed his identity. Perhaps he could have all that, be comfortable in his skin, whilst still dressing this way. It was one of the thoughts helping him to pull through.

“ _I felt like there was something about her. I don't know how to explain it. It's kind of like one of those movie moments where you see someone and think … well, that you could have something with them.”_

These words in particular kept running through Mikleo's mind. He was unsure of how to process them. With guilt, as he caused Sorey to fall for a girl who did not even exist? Or with a sense of happiness, because in a world where things would work in Mikleo's favour, this would mean that Sorey might have felt this way because of who Ariel truly was?

Having these thoughts distracted him from his walking. Before he knew it, he was at Sorey's home. A hand which was trembling slightly clenched into a fist and knocked. With his nerves, he was surprised he made a sound at all.

His heart skipped a beat when the door opened. Standing there was not Sorey, but Zenrus, who was already bearing a friendly smile.

“Oh, good afternoon. You must be …”

His words drifted off for a moment as he looked at Mikleo's face, who hoped panic wasn't written on it. It was clear that like Sorey, Zenrus could see the resemblance after knowing Mikleo for so long. Mikleo had to hope that he saw it as no more than a resemblance.

“Oh yeah, this is Ariel!” Sorey called from further down the hallway. “Come on in.”

Mikleo did so, smiling at Zenrus yet not quite able to meet his eye. He was at least able to meet Sorey's for a moment. Despite the worries he had confessed to Mikleo last night, he seemed perfectly fine, which left Mikleo to wonder whether this truly was the case, or whether he was hiding how he was truly feeling.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked, Mikleo shaking his head.

“I'm good, thank you.”

Sorey smiled, gesturing for Mikleo to follow him to his room. Mikleo inhaled deeply. The previous nerves he had from being here with Sorey had returned, mingling with the ones which existed from all he had to speak about today. It left him feeling fairly nauseous.

“I'm sorry about what happened last time,” Sorey said as he sat down on the bed, Mikleo slipping off a pair of sandals before he did the same. “I hadn't meant to upset you or anything.”

“You didn't. I was just overwhelmed with everything.”

“I could see that. I'm just … a little confused as to _why_ you were overwhelmed.”

“It's … well …” Mikleo bit down on his lip. The last thing he had wanted to do was say who he was whilst like this, as he thought it might have provided an even bigger. “It's hard to explain.”

Sorey nodded, leaning back on his hands. “I thought you'd say that. But as much as I hate to say it, I can't really do anything to help with this unless I know what's going on.”

“I know. I'm sorry about that.”

Sorey shook his head. “Don't apologise. I just had to say that so you know.” He sat up properly, meeting Mikleo's eyes – or rather, the blue contacts which covered them. “But I do feel like you've been hiding something from me.”

Mikleo paused, contemplating his following words. “I have been,” he said eventually. “I'm sorry. You don't deserve that.”

“Thank you for being honest. Can you tell me?”

He shook his head. “Not like this. But … but soon. I'll tell you soon.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Sorey forced a smile. “There's one other thing I need to ask, though. I swear it's not about you yourself.”

“What is it?”

“Do you want to end this?”

Mikleo had been prepared for the question. After all, Sorey had spoken about it not even twenty-four hours earlier. Yet it still brought Mikleo a strange sadness. These dates were not real, nor was whatever Ariel and Sorey had. Though hearing the words to end it still stung more than they should have done.

However, it was still the question he had hoped for. He nodded his head slowly.

“I think that's for the best.”

“I thought as much. And I'm not going to push for a reason why, because not all things work out.” Sorey paused, running a tongue over his lips. “Can I ask for one last thing, though?”

“If you like.”

“I want to kiss you one more time,” Sorey replied, the words catching Mikleo off guard. “I just … I need to see how it feels. To … confirm something.”

Mikleo knew it'd be best to say no. Yet if this really was ending, and the possibility of this being his last chance to taste those lips laid right in front of him, then it was his instinct to make the most of it. And so, he nodded.

Perhaps the knowledge that he was finally bringing things to an end which is what allowed Mikleo to feel relaxed, enough so that he could melt into the kiss. A hand rested on his face, another on the pinched waist of a white dress to bring him closer. Despite everything, it felt perfect. It seemed to feel utterly natural.

Yet Sorey broke away before long, smiling. It held more happiness than Mikleo would have expected in this situation.

“Thank you,” he said. “I appreciate that.”

Mikleo was confused as to why he was being thanked, yet chose to not question it. Soon, he was leaving Sorey's home, shutting the door quietly after himself. His fingers rested on his lips for a moment as he began walking down the street. His thoughts only moved away from the kiss when he realised his phone, not Eizen's, had let off his text tone. He knew immediately who it would be from.

_'Ariel and I have ended it, now. I feel okay, so don't worry about me!_ _Do you still want to speak to me later?'_

_'I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you really are feeling okay. It was the right thing to do, though. And if that's still all right?'_

_'I really am, don't worry! And of course it is. You come first!'_

Mikleo smiled to himself, warmth spreading through this chest. Three words which had been said multiple times in the past, yet in this moment, meant more to him than ever. He would be hanging onto those as he convinced himself everything really would turn out well.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE MEGA APOLOGY FOR THE CONFESSION NOT HAPPENING
> 
> The thing is that I actually wanted to add on chapter 7 to this one, but it would have made it nearing 10,000 words long, and that is way too out of balance with the chapter lengths. Going to try and write up the last chapter (or what I believe will be the last) quickly so I can hopefully update a little earlier! Though that might be a bit difficult with my trip being spread over three days. Hopefully it builds up anticipation more than annoyance =.=
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please avoid shouting at me for not combining the chapters if you are kind enough to leave feedback.


	7. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering I think you already know what is coming, I don't think a summary is needed xD Sorry for not being able to combine this with the last chapter, but I hope you enjoy it regardless!

With thoughts running wild in his mind, Mikleo headed home quickly. He had to make sure he was changed out of these clothes before Sorey came. A confession might have been on its way, yet the last thing Mikleo wanted was for it to start because of Sorey finding him in the same outfit that Ariel had worn.

At least that was one small thing now accomplished. Whilst the true identity of Ariel was still in the dark, she was at least gone in the sense that she no longer was involved with Sorey. There was still much to go through in regards to her, but strangely, it felt as though she was an actual person out of the picture, even though she was never real.

He was slightly startled when his eyes took in the sight of his street. With his thoughts, he had barely noticed that he had covered all of the distance home. His hand was soon opening his front door after he inhaled a deep breath. Inside, he was at least glad only Edna was there, as Eizen was working a shift. Having less people in the house made him feel a little less uncomfortable about having Sorey there.

“Hey, Edna,” Mikleo called as he entered, finding that she was in the lounge. “Can't talk for long, I have to get changed.”

“Is Sorey coming over?”

Mikleo nodded. “Pretty soon.”

“Tell me what happened first. Sure Sorey wouldn't mind seeing you in a skirt.”

He rolled his eyes, yet took a moment to sit down next to her, certain he had a few minutes to spare. “I broke off whatever was going on between him and Ariel.”

“Wow, took you long enough.”

“I know, right?”

Both laughed, silence falling for a moment before Edna continued. “So now you're going to tell him who Ariel really is?”

“That's right. I wanted to do that as myself instead. And … well, hopefully I'd be able to talk about my feelings, too.”

“You better. Those things have been eating away at you for years. God, why people even bother with this stuff, I don't know.”

Mikleo smiled with amusement. “I don't know, either. It's way too complicated for my liking.”

“Well, complicated or not, that dude makes you happy. So I hope everything goes all right.”

“Thanks, Edna. You really can be kind at times, you know.”

She let out a huff, cheeks slightly tinted with pink as she turned her head away. “Don't start with that stuff, it's not like you to compliment me like that.”

“Sorry, I'll stop it.”

“Good.”

Despite their words, both were smiling. Feeling a little less anxious than he had been whilst walking home, he made his way upstairs, unfastening his wig whilst he did so. He placed it down on the headstand, a moment of panic going through him when he saw all the make-up on display. It had been a while since Sorey had been in this room; the last time he was here, the table had been clear aside from a few cleansing products. Mikleo hastily hid away the items in drawers. He would rather Sorey not see them before they had their talk.

Soon, he was dressed into a pair of sweatpants and a loose tank top instead. It was when Mikleo was storing his wig into his wardrobe that he could hear Edna call that Sorey was here. Taking a deep breath, Mikleo headed downstairs, finding that Sorey had already entered and was speaking to Edna. After what had happened not very long ago at all, it was wonderful to see him still smiling and laughing the same as ever. Perhaps he truly was okay.

“Ah, Mikleo!” Sorey turned to him, smiling. “Sorry if you didn't expect me until later.”

“No, it's fine. Want to go to my room?”

“Sure!”

Mikleo waited for Sorey to pass him. Though no words were exchanged between him and Edna, there as still a look in her eyes which seemed to be encouraging him. It was now or never.

“God, it feels like it's been forever since I was last in here,” said Sorey, stretching out his arms once he was inside of Mikleo's room. “We don't spend enough time together, do we?”

“No … no, we don't.”

“Ah well, we'll have more time now that my dates are over.”

It was not said with a hint of regret or disappointment. With Sorey's smile and no lack of his usual tone, it was clear that Sorey truly meant his words. It warmed Mikleo's heart to know that Sorey genuinely did care more for Mikleo than anyone else.

“Yeah, that's true,” Mikleo said, both he and Sorey settling down on the bed, legs dangling over the side. Whilst Sorey's posture was relaxed, leaning back on his hands, Mikleo's was a lot less so; his body language was closed, with his hands in loose fists on his lap, back not nearly as straight as it usually tended to be. His voice was quieter when he spoke again. “So you know that I want to talk about stuff, right?”

“I do, yeah. Is something going on?”

“No. Well – kind of. I suppose so.”

He glanced up when Sorey rested his hand on Mikleo's shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile. “Relax,” he said. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”

Mikleo nodded, and whilst he still only felt comfortable enough to keep his gaze on his hands, he could at least feel that his body was less tense. “There's … well, to begin with, there's something about me that I've never really talked to you about.”

“About you …? It's not something serious, is it?”

Mikleo shook his head immediately. “No, nothing like that. It's about my identity.”

“Oh, I see. What about it?”

Feeling encouraged by how Sorey did not sound confused, merely just curious, Mikleo felt inclined to say the exact truth. “Well, for a few years, I was questioning my … gender identity. Sometimes, I would just feel like a girl. It was confusing, because I didn't know whether I was fully one, or if I just had feminine traits.”

He fell silent for a moment, listening out for a response off Sorey. Yet none came. Sorey was waiting for Mikleo to continue himself, not wanting to interrupt. And so, Mikleo continued, feeling some of his anxiety ease now he was in the flow of conversation.

“I started realising that it varied on different days. I've always had _some_ traits which never seem to change. However, there were other things which _did_ change. I'd feel more like a boy one day, and a girl the next. I looked into it later and talked to people who felt the same online, realising that I might be genderfluid. I still use that label now, though I know that I might identify differently later on. It's not really an instant thing to work out, after all. It takes time.” Mikleo paused for a moment, running a tongue over his lips. “And … well, I only ever really felt able to embrace myself at home, where no one could see me apart from Edna and Eizen. I'm sorry I never told you about it, though. You should have known.”

This was where Mikleo decided to wait for an answer. For a few moments, it did not arrive. His heartbeat began to rise whilst he waited for it. However, Sorey's voice soon returned, gentler than Mikleo had feared it would sound.

“Mikleo, you have nothing to apologise for. I know that it was probably hard to work all of that out, and … well, sometimes you just can't talk about secrets, and that's okay. But … you never thought I wouldn't accept you, did you?”

Still unable to meet Sorey's eyes, Mikleo shrugged. “I don't know. I mean, you're definitely not the type of person to not accept someone for who they are. But I've been your best friend for years, and … I guess I just worried that it would not be the same between us after that.”

“We've been friends for years. I'm not going to feel anything differently about you just because you are a girl sometimes.”

Mikleo finally looked at Sorey, feeling warmed by the smile he saw. “Really?”

“Really! Seriously, like that would matter. You're still the same person regardless of what gender you are. I don't care about that stuff. I like you for _you_ , Mikleo. Besides, I think it's pretty cool that one day I could see you like this, and the next, you could look really different.”

Mikleo first started to chuckle, before it escalated into full-blown laughter. Amusement over his family's words being true, relief over Sorey's acceptance, guilt over himself for thinking for a moment that it would be any different than this – it all combined into a state of being overwhelmed.

“I'm sorry,” Mikleo gasped out, wiping at watery eyes. “It's relief, more than anything.”

“Don't worry, it's fine! But … if you're this relieved, then how long have you been questioning about this?”

“Since I was about fourteen or fifteen,” he replied. “So a while.”

“I'd say … and I've never seen you dress femininely, either. Was it … hard, to not dress like that when you wanted to?”

Mikleo nodded slowly. “I get dysphoric a lot if I don't appear how I want to. I just don't feel right at all. I get unsure of how I should act, or even how I should sit. It gets pretty overwhelming at times.”

“And I was never there to help you through that …”

“Don't sound guilty, idiot. You didn't know.”

“I know that, it's just … I wish I could have been there for you when you felt that way. It sounds horrible.”

“It really is. It's hard to imagine what it's like unless you go through it yourself.” Mikleo was soon smiling, however, eyes landing back on Sorey's. “I'm glad you're this understanding, though. I thought it might be hard to.”

Sorey shrugged his shoulders. “What's hard about it? My best friend is just a girl sometimes. That doesn't stop him from being the same.” A hand slapped over his mouth in an instant, eyes growing wide. “O-Oh! I'm sorry Mikleo, what pronouns do you prefer?”

“Any are fine, so don't worry so much. I don't care about that kind of thing.”

“Phew! I was worried I might have been offending you this whole time.”

“No, you're fine. You worry too much.”

“Says you!”

Mikleo laughed softly. “All right, maybe a bit.”

“Maybe a lot. So … is that all you wanted to say?”

In an instant, anxiety which had vanished when Mikleo had been distracted by Sorey's words returned. One part had been successful, but there was still more to get through, and the same could not be said for what else there was to discuss.

He forced himself to shake his head. “N-No. There's more.”

“I'm all ears.”

Mikleo swallowed. The first confession had been far too easy. He had not had chance to prepare himself for the difficulty which would follow.

“Recently, I … I've been exploring my identity more. I felt like it wasn't enough to dress in the house and everything, especially as I didn't have much stuff. So I met up with Lailah and Edna, and we went shopping to get some items which would help with that.” For a moment, Mikleo paused when he wondered if this would already give himself away, yet decided to continue to tell Sorey the whole story. “And … it felt great. To finally have a decent amount of feminine things, I mean.”

Sorey smiled widely. “That's great! I'm glad you were able to embrace that side of you more.”

Mikleo smiled back shakily, yet had to look back at his hands again as he continued. “But … but there was one thing about all of this that was an issue. I was terrified of people from college recognising me, and being questioned why I was dressing like that. Edna kept telling me that I shouldn't care what they think, that they would not care themselves anyway, but I was still far too anxious.” He bit onto his bottom lip. His heart felt as though it was trying to escape from his ribcage. “And … and so, it was Edna's idea for me to make myself look completely different. Like a new identity, so that even if someone I knew saw me, it wouldn't matter. And that … that was who you …”

“Who I what?”

“Who you ended up meeting,” Mikleo said in a rush. His voice quietened to almost a whisper as he continued. “Ariel is me, Sorey. The clothes, the wig, contacts, make-up – I used it all to change myself and it even stopped you from being able to tell it was me, too. She's not even real.” He could feel tears well in his eyes, yet frustrated with himself, he forced them back. What right did _he_ have to cry when this was his fault, that Sorey should be the one who was upset? “I'm sorry, Sorey. I know I shouldn't have made this go on for so long. I said yes the first time in the heat of the moment, and after that … I really am sorry. I never wanted to trick you like that.”

The words left him beyond tense, panicked as he waited for Sorey to question why Mikleo, of all, people, would lie to him. Hate Mikleo for doing all of this, feel betrayed that he would pretend to be someone he was not rather than just confess. And Sorey had every right to feel that way. Mikleo could hardly put himself in his shoes. Yet he knew that if he was in them, he would likely feel betrayed himself, and it was hypocritical to think that Sorey might not be the same.

Overwhelmed by silence, Mikleo could not bear to take even a momentary glance at Sorey. His heart pounded in his ears. With larger anxiety than he had ever experienced, he braced himself for the worst. Perhaps that was the reason Sorey's following words did not process at first.

“I know.”

Mikleo stayed frozen in place for a moment. Even his fingers did not twitch, or his eyes blink. It was only until his head turned slowly to Sorey that he now seemed to be responding, eyes finally blinking as they met Sorey's, soon to stare.

“Y-You … know?” Mikleo eventually stammered. He had played numerous different scenarios in his head, yet this was the one he had thought about the least. He had been so focused on Sorey becoming angry that he barely had a chance to think about the possibility of him figuring anything out.

“Well, I suspected it, at least. Like, I was pretty sure,” Sorey replied, expression serious. “But it wasn't confirmed until now.”

“But when … how did you …?”

“It wasn't straight away. I could tell straight away that she was similar to you. Yet that was all it was at first that I saw – just a similarity.” Sorey paused for a moment as he thought over his words. “But then you seemed _too_ similar. It was that and the fact that she was so secretive that made me think one night, what if you're the same person?” He laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I thought that was really far-fetched, so I forgot about it for a while.”

“For a while?”

“Until we kissed for the first time. I … I saw your wig cap peeking through a little. Obviously if she was actually a different person to you, I might have just thought she didn't like her natural hair. But, well, after suspecting things before, it all came back to me.”

“Yet you wanted to see her again.”

“Because I didn't know for sure if I was right. Then … well, I guess you breaking things off as her made me pretty certain I was right. I didn't confront you about it because I wanted to _you_ to tell me, not for me to accuse you.”

Mikleo's head hung low. “I'm sorry I didn't before now. I kept this going on for too long.”

“And … well, that's one thing I don't fully get. Why _did_ you let it carry on?”

A tongue ran over his lips. “I just … said yes the first time in the spur of the moment, and then … there were other things stopping me from confessing after that.”

“Other things?”

“I-I … well …”

“Mikleo, why did you let me kiss you?”

His heart felt as though it had stopped. He gulped, not finding the confidence to look up at Sorey's eyes. He feared that his feelings would be completely on show if he did.

“I … I …”

“You have feelings for me, don't you?”

There was no telling whether the guess brought him happiness, fear, relief – perhaps it was all a confusing combination, with no telling exactly _how_ he was supposed to feel. Because he had no idea what would happen after he confirmed this. He was certain that Sorey's apparent sense of calm would falter if he said yes.

But he could not lie any further. He had already done so far, far too much. Sorey deserved much better than that. And so, his head nodded slowly.

It took Sorey a moment to speak. “Is it okay for me to ask how long for?”

“I don't know how long, exactly,” Mikleo whispered. “It's like … they've always been there. I can't remember _not_ having feelings for you.”

A weight already felt like it was being lifted from his chest, yet simultaneously, he could not bask in the happiness of it doing so for long. The anxiety he felt was much more overbearing.

“Look at me,” Sorey said gently. Even if he hesitated, Mikleo did so. He was a little taken aback by how emotional Sorey appeared. “You should have told me.”

“I should have told you a lot of things. That, my identity, the whole Ariel thing … I'm surprised you've not left or anything.”

“I can't deny that it's a bit upsetting to have things hidden from me. But Mikleo, I really do get it. Feelings are a nerve-wrecking thing for most people, and I can imagine that it was hard to not take advantage of being Ariel.”

Mikleo nodded, exhaling deeply. “I didn't want to, but at the same time, I did. I thought it was the only chance I had with you.”

“But why did you think that way?”

He stared, certain the answer was obvious. “Because … well, how _could_ I have a chance? Even if you weren't straight, I thought that if you were so quick to be interested in Ariel, there was no way you would ever be interested in me.”

“I … honestly, this has always been pretty confusing for me.” Sorey scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I mean, I feel like that the feelings I had for Ariel didn't … well, arise because of _her.”_

Mikleo's eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

“I kinda feel like I might have had feelings for you, first. But I never realised them because of how close we were.” Sorey paused, Mikleo staying silent during it – even if he _wanted_ to say something, he doubted he would have been able to find any words. “When I was with Alisha, I had this thought to myself; if she woke up as a boy the next day, would I still like her? No other answer but 'yes' seemed right. After all, does something like gender really get in the way of things like that, if you really do have true feelings for someone?”

“So … even if I'm not Ariel, you'd …”

“Have feelings for you, yeah. Which I'm pretty certain I have.” The smile on Sorey's face seemed to light up his eyes. “The reason I wanted to kiss Ariel one last time was because I was certain who she was by then. And … and I wanted to see if a kiss still felt the same, knowing it was you.”

“A-And … and did it?”

The answer he received was not through words to begin with. A hand under his chin gently lifted his face into a kiss. Despite its lightness, the sensation was all he could feel. He was no longer kissing Sorey as someone else. He was himself, and somehow, it made their kiss seem all the more stronger than before, bringing the feeling that Mikleo could have stayed there forever.

Yet despite this feeling, he had to pull back slowly to look at Sorey's eyes, a thousand words needing to be said.

“Is that a yes?” he asked quietly, Sorey nodding.

“Yeah, it is.” Sorey chuckled softly. “I'm still a little confused about everything. But … well, I think I'm becoming less confused about you.”

“I'm sorry. I've really not helped with that confusion at all, have I?”

“Maybe not. But … well, Ariel might not have been all bad. I mean, she's what helped me to realise I have feelings for you, after all.” He ran his thumb over Mikleo's cheek, smiling softly. “And to have them might not be what I expected. But … wouldn't it be stupid to ignore it?”

“You tell me.”

Sorey laughed, nodding. “Then yeah, I think it would be pretty stupid.”

There was only a moment of hesitation before his lips met Mikleo's again, this time a little deeper, arms wrapping around his waist. They were soon to pull him onto Sorey's lap with ease, their kiss not breaking. It felt far too wonderful for either of them to do so right away. There were no lies and secrets coming in the way of their enjoyment.

“Why did you pull me on your lap?” Mikleo asked once their lips had parted.

“Because you're small, so it's easy. Plus, I thought you might have wanted to be reminded of all the times you crawled into my lap as a kid. You're still not over thunderstorms much, are you?”

Mikleo groaned, burying his head into Sorey's shoulders. “Don't you _dare_ bring that up.”

“I already have. But I always kind of liked it, you know.”

“Yeah, because you could tease me about it.”

“Well yeah, I can't deny that,” Sorey laughed. “But because it was pretty cute, too. And I liked feeling I could protect you.”

Mikleo shuffled a little closer, unsure of how to respond to those words. “All right, you're let off.”

“You're blushing right now, aren't you?”

“No.”

Sorey gently prised Mikleo away from his shoulder to look at his face. “Liar.”

“Shut it.” Mikleo paused, eyes glancing away for a moment, fingers brushing hair behind his ear. “Are you sure this is okay?”

Sorey rolled his eyes. “I wouldn't have you in my lap if it isn't.”

“I just … want to make sure you're not doing this just to make me happy.”

“Lying about feelings wouldn't make you happy at all. Don't be silly, all right?” His hands cupped Mikleo's cheeks, the grin on his face wide. “And if I was lying, I wouldn't ask you to be with me.”

“Y-You want …”

“Yep!”

Mikleo smiled, feeling tears prick once again in the corners of his eyes. “All right, I will. Thank you, Sorey.”

“For what? Having feelings for you?”

“Well – yeah, I guess.”

Sorey chuckled, brushing his lips on Mikleo's forehead. “You don't have to thank me for that. I just need one promise from you.”

“What's that?”

“Never hide things from me. There is nothing, and I mean _nothing,_ that you need to hide from me. Promise me you won't do that anymore?"

There was no doubt in his response to this request. He rested his head against Sorey's chest, feeling comforted from the warmth he felt over being so close, before he then answered with:

“I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what? I think if I had Sorey as a boyfriend, all my problems would manage to fade away, even the permanent ones.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'm afraid that the final chapter won't be very long as I didn't have that much to cover, and I feel like I did so enough whilst not pushing the word count. However, I'm hoping to start updating The Journey Home more often, and I have a large fic I've been planning for a while coming up. So it's not all bad!
> 
> I'll see you in the next update!


	8. True Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was incredible how free Mikleo felt after having so much weight lifted from his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last chapter updated a little earlier! Honestly, I've grown very anxious over this story, as I feel as though very few people like it and are willing to support it. However, I'm not one to leave stories because of that if I can, and so here it is. A little shorter than the usual, I'm sorry! But I hope you enjoy it.

Violet eyes blinked at their reflection. Waterlines drawn in white, browns with a hint of shimmer dusting their lids. Natural, light brown hair swooped past them, the long wig in his wardrobe not quite forgotten about, yet also unneeded. After all, embracing his natural looks was something he had been learning to do. No contacts or wig were needed to cover what was real.

He was undeniably nervous. An arm raised, his eyes scanned over the bracelets circled around a slender wrist. His gaze then shifted to his body. A simple, light summer dress which he had worn, but never on a day like today.

Over the past couple of weeks, he had started accepting himself truly. He no longer hid his identity. Instead, he brought it forward slowly into his everyday life, with college and meeting with friends. A touch of make-up, more feminine colours. Subtle changes rather than diving into it all at once.

Today was the day where he _would_ be diving in. If anyone he was not close to questioned anything, he already had the words he'd use to respond with on the tip of his tongue. Yet it was not overly optimistic to believe that it might not be questioned very much at all. After all, the changes in his appearance, the touch more femininity he had allowed himself to present – aside from the odd strange look from those he did not care about, no one had reacted in a negative way.

If anything, he was impressing others already, being complimented on how well different looks suited him. How one day, he could look casual, the ordinary appearance they were used to seeing. On others, he'd look different, yet he himself would still seem the same. He actually felt a little excitement mingle with his nerves over how they might react to a full transformation.

“You almost ready?” Edna said from the doorway suddenly, soft enough so he was not startled.

“Yeah, give me a second. Why are you whispering?”

Edna rolled her eyes, leaning against the doorway. “Eizen was out late with Zaveid last night. He's still in bed.”

“Ah, that explains it.”

“I do think there's something going on between those two, sometimes,” Edna continued, the two now heading down the hallway. She started speaking again once they were down the stairs, a hint of a smirk on her face. “You know when two guys just seem _too_ close.”

“Sorey and I were close as just best friends.”

“Meebo. You're no longer best friends. You're just proving my point.”

“St-Still.”

Edna chuckled, watching as he cleared his throat and turn his head away in a failed attempt to hide that a blush was staining his cheeks. Even with a fortnight passing since they became a couple, it still seemed as though Mikleo had not fully become accustomed to the fact that a relationship had began. After all, he had been dreaming about it for years. It seemed far too unbelievable that a dream could turn into reality.

Despite how much Edna had felt as though Sorey might have turned out this way, truly not seeing gender as an issue for developing romantic attraction, it was still incredible to Mikleo that it happened. Even after the lies, hiding of the truth, the mistakes he made; Sorey still had feelings for him. Perhaps they were a little more confusing than Mikleo's were, for he had been sure of himself longer, rather than Sorey who had questioned his sexuality not that long ago. But they were still real. He could tell from the way that Sorey intertwined their fingers, how he brought Mikleo close, the shared emotions they could feel from their lips meeting. Every touch was special.

His confession going well was what likely brought him a new wave of confidence in his own skin. His suspicions had been right all along. Sorey _was_ supportive, encouraging, even excited for what he had learned about Mikleo. Regardless of whether or not he was Mikleo's boyfriend, it was clear that this would have been the same. Sorey adored Mikleo for he himself. His identity, the way he presented himself – that was not important at all. What _was_ important was the bond that they had built up over the years, the trust which Mikleo was grateful had never been broken, the memories in which they would never lose regardless of who Mikleo turned out to be.

Yet what made it even more beautiful was that Sorey went beyond accepting. He had quickly started to enjoy watching Mikleo apply make-up, brush through the wig when Mikleo was in the mood to wear it, excitedly talk about what Mikleo should wear and which colours suited him most. Acceptance was one thing. It could go as far as giving as much support as possible, yet could also merely be tolerating of the other person. Mikleo had no words to describe how Sorey was. It had been that way many times in the past. Sorey, in all of his kindness and cheerfulness, was indescribable.

He was likely the main reason that Mikleo was able to walk down this street as himself, to the everyday life in which he had never imagined he could live freely. He was truly grateful for that.

 

* * *

 

 

The two siblings had arrived at the college gates ten minutes later. Standing by them was Sorey, leaning against the fence with his eyes on his phone. As though by instinct, he glanced up once Edna and Mikleo had drawn nearer, face breaking out into an immediate smile.

“Good morning!” he greeted, straightening himself up as he placed his phone back into his pocket. He leaned his head down to brush his lips against Mikleo's. Then, his eyes glanced down at Mikleo's outfit, seeming to shine brighter. “You look really beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Mikleo responded, yet there was a small amount of nerves in his voice, one hand playing with the hem of the dress. “I'm just a bit worried this was a huge step too soon.”

Sorey shook his head. “I think it was a great idea. You want to dress like how you feel properly, don't you? Then this is perfect!”

“I do hope so.”

“The only down side is that I might get a bit jealous if people find you _too_ cute,” said Sorey, holding onto Mikleo's hand to lead him through to the college. “So you've got to stay close to me, okay?”

Mikleo laughed. “I never took you for the jealous type.”

“Well … I can be. Mostly with you.” He turned around to grin. “I mean, can you blame me with a smile like that?”

Mikleo let out a huff, averting his eyes away. “Do you have to be so cheesy _right_ here?”

“No one's going to mind.”

“ _I_ do.”

“Do you really, though?”

Mikleo rolled his eyes. “Shut it.”

Sorey's grin grew, before it softened. “Really though, I've not seen you smile this much for a while. It's nice to see.”

“You've helped a lot.”

“It's down to you having this confidence, too!”

Mikleo hummed in agreement, yet his eyes had fallen elsewhere; among the smiles of those he knew, and eyes of genuine curiosity, laid the odd glare and disapproving expression. Despite how much a large amount of positivity was encouraging, a negative reaction could act like an overbearing shadow, cast over all of the rest. Yet it was a shadow which was washed away by light as Sorey squeezed his hand.

“Those ones don't matter,” he said, firmly yet gently. “They're people you don't know, who are confused on how to react to something like this. They don't know how to accept it. But those you _do_ know? They adore you, and like to see you express who you are. That's what's important, right?”

Mikleo nodded, breathing out. The anxiety in his chest was already easing from Sorey's words. “Right.”

He truly meant his agreement. After all, from the moment they realised that he and Sorey were a couple, they were overjoyed for them. Congratulations, declarations of how they knew it would happen and other heartfelt messages were received instantly, and following this came the compliments on Mikleo as he began to wear make-up. When wearing an outfit like this, surely it would bring no difference?

And he was right. He was soon to receive further smiles, compliments about how well everything together worked for him, even advice on what kind of styles they thought would suit him. He knew that this place was truly accepting. Yet it was now, with constant encouragement, that he saw the height of this. Even if there were people who did not understand, the ones who did so, or at least tried to, were more important.

“ _MIKLEO!”_

Following the sudden shout of his name came arms wrapping around him, causing him to let out a small shriek and have his hand yanked out of Sorey's. His legs wobbled, somehow managing to keep his balance.

“A bit of warning next time, Rose?”

“You just look so adorable that I couldn't help myself!”

“Rose, you're going to crush him,” Alisha said, walking up to them and laughing. “She's right though, you _do_ look lovely.”

Once he had escaped from Rose's iron grip on him, he was able to turn to Alisha and smile warmly. “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

His close friends in particular, alongside Sorey, were the most important of all and above those who would disapprove of his expression. He had made the decision to do what he had done to Sorey, and confess over more than one thing at once. They were told of both the relationship and his identity. The first brought very little questioning, the group not surprised at all aside from how it seemed like Sorey had moved on quickly. That was until the identity of Ariel had been explained.

This brought more questions than the relationship had, yet nothing ignorant in the slightest. Like with Sorey, they accepted him instantly. Alisha offered to give him make-up advice if he ever needed it, and Rose said that whilst she wasn't one for that kind of thing, she was there to cheer him on in the background. Dezel had accepted it casually and with a shrug. That in itself was appreciated – after all, it had not been made into a big deal at all, which Mikleo was thankful for. He did not want to be treated differently or with far too much care after coming out to them.

Like him, they were being themselves. It was all he wanted.

“Man, our English exam is only in half an hour!” Sorey exclaimed, letting out a sigh as he brushed his fringe back. “Those two hours better go quickly.”

“They will. You're going to do great – you've worked hard for it, after all.” Mikleo took Sorey's hand again, smiling up at him as he gave it a gentle squeeze.

“That's true! Thanks, Mikleo. You're going to ace it as well.”

“There's one thing I'm thinking about which is helping me get through all of these exams, too,” said Mikleo as they began to continue their way through the corridors towards where the exam was held, Rose and Alisha not far behind.

“What's that?”

“University in a few months. Now I've got less worries on my mind, I can look forward to that without as much anxiety.”

“Hey, you're right! We've just got to get through these exams, enjoy a long summer together, and then …”

“We'll be at university together.”

“Exactly!”

They were silent for a few moments as they got lost in these thoughts, hearts warm over thinking about what laid ahead of them. Then, in a gentle voice, Sorey spoke.

“I wish I had known about both of us sooner. Your identity, and my sexuality. I've always been happy, but … well, I've never been like how I am, now.” He beamed down at Mikleo, the expression so beautiful that Mikleo thought his heart might have skipped a beat. “You really do make me happy, Mikleo. I'm glad that we've turned out this way.”

Unsure of how to respond to such heartfelt words, Mikleo swallowed, breaking eye contact. “You're being cheesy again.”

“I'm not trying to be! I'm just saying the truth.”

“I know. I'm glad we have, too. I never thought any of this would happen.”

“Well, it has, so let's appreciate what we have!”

When Sorey brought him to the side momentarily, Mikleo found himself smiling into their kiss, heart feeling as though it was growing warmer by the minute. Considering he had thought that this was merely a fantasy just weeks before, he knew that he would never stop that appreciation. Regardless of how long it would last, whether that was a short time or forever, he was going to cherish every moment.

Being himself, with Sorey at his side. It was something he knew he could never take for granted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this little fic!
> 
> It was nice to delve into this kind of topic, and helped me realise that I was very much lying to myself by thinking I might not actually be a transgender guy. Haha, well, that's one way to realise, I suppose ;u;
> 
> My focus now will be on getting TJH finished, so I can start my next larger fic. Hopefully, if you'll be interested in a future work and/or read TJH, you enjoy reading them!


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